This post here is for my single successful ladies, swimming thru the sea of comittment trying to find LOVE amongst the fast pace life of climbing the success ladder.
I am one of them.
*sigh*
And, on top of that, I'm a piece of work alone.
I write, and anyone can tell you that writers are extremely STRANGE people.
Now, I'm just going to list alot of my hangups and maybe you have the same when dealing with guys.
1. I have a really screwed up "type" of guy.
Now, unfortunately an urban twist of a man is preferred. His pants should not dangle underneath his buttox, but his pants must also be free to ROAM around in as well. We'on do that skinny jean stuff over here. A fewjean brands give or take, but not super duper SKINTY. His attitude must be attitude-repellent. He must know how to handle the type of woman I am, and he cannot be soft spoken or timid. Aggressive men normally do the trick, but well....agressive guys arn't always the best pick. I find this to be a hang up.
I end up with assholes who were only agressively sweet at the beginning.
Then their film wears off.
2. I don't allow anyone where I live, plus I'm busy...sooo.
About 20 percent of all of the men, I've ever dated know where I rest at. Call me shell-shocked or whatever, but I had a terrible experience when I was twenty. I don't like people knowing where I close my eyes at. It's some type of weird paranoia, I'm sure.
I'm working on this, but this doesn't help when dating. I like ALWAYS meet my beau wherever we will be eating. He doesn't get the opp to pick me and take me out, like traditional dating. LOL
3. I'm always on my laptop and often, I don't answer my phone when I am.
The internet, blogging, and writing are my LIFE, aside from my busy bee 6 year old (mentioned in #4). I make about 75 percent of my sales via internet promotion. Also, I'm in an office Monday-Friday 9am-5pm, and I value my independent interent time. Hmmph. And, right now, I have to put that on the forefront. My latest date buddy often says says, "Aw lord, you must be on your computer", once the uncomfortable sound of *crickets* come thru the phone, while we are supposed to be "talking". I do it unintentionally though, and I understand this part of me needs work.
4. I have a kid. She is my road dog, and she bites.
My daughter is six years old, going on 80. She does not bite her tongue, nor does she hesitate to ask me questions about anything. Including a stranger who may be showing a liking to her mommy, her #1 fan. So, this makes things hard b/c at the dating "stage", I'm not so sure that I want to answer questions from the inquisitive brown girl. At dating stage, a guy isn't really conversation material. My daughter doesn't need to ask questions, because he's not worth explaining to her at that moment. Not that I may not like him, its just that he's in that stage where...well my kid doesn't need to know you. You are seperate from that part of my life, until you prove you meet all necessary requirements. Now she is always with me, so that sort of narrows the time I have available to date. Reason this being a "said" hangup.
4. Finding brothers with reputable J.O.B.'s.
Everybody can't be a rapper, or a trapper, or a entreprenuer minus the actual business. I present to you the main reason I fall back. If I meet one more Gucci Mane protege, I'm going to scream, and it won't be "Gucci! or Brrr!!!". Let's face it, everybody can't be a rapper, and Lord knows I can't do a trapper. Peace and hair grease to the struggle and all that, but will the real "JOB HOLDERS" please stand up. The first step to being an entreprenuer is actually OWNING a business. You are not a business man because you carry a briefcase with notepads and BIC pens in it. Where is your real business credit? Where did you go to school again? Oh okay....lets get with it. ESC.com Go!
5. Brothers and their baggage!
Hi, my name is "Ms. Single Lady", but I will NOT be baby mother number THREE, jumpoff number FOUR, or rescue haven housing lady for BIRDHEAD MEN. Nope, I'm not going to be able to do it ; /
Now, it is a recession. Note taken. On top of that, I do understand that black men are not highly favored, as job candidates for many positions. So, I do empathize with the strenuous task of finding work in the U.S. and being a black man. I do.
BUT.
Some of them have no reason to be 25+ living with their mom, driving the car of their baby mama's (while she's at work), with two other alternate baby mamas, and not a THING to call his on, but a closet full of Pradas and Gucci. Dammit!
Oh and that brother always looks damn good doesn't he? Of course, he has all the latest style of fashion because this brother has NO REAL BUSINESS. He can afford to buy all of the latest styles without a real job, because...well he has no BILLS. Ugh.
Then he starts to stutter at the questions: What do you do? Do you have kids? Have you ever been married?
Go figure...moving right along.
Now.......these are like the man hangups...
I have others...but I will not bore you with my ranting.
Now a few of these things I can't change.
Others eh...maybe I can.
Others eh...maybe I can.
But I confess.
Hi, my name is crazy writer person,
and I am a serial dater for the listed reasons.
Pray that other like me get it together, and most of all...pray that the micro selection of men out there get it together FIRST.
Love seems so far away sometimes.
"I love him, I love him NOT...NEXT!"
I know that one day I'll shake this craziness.
XoXO
Chakara
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