Dear M.C. Hammer....

Better Run.
Better Run Run.

Dude dont you mean..you better walk walk? With your "too d*mn old to be perculatin'" *ss. Excuse my language, but I only have two words for that video and its "KNEE BRACE".

You gone mess around, trying to be too legit to quit, and one of those knees are going to quit. Now, what do you mean? He stole ur style?

I never recalled Jay Z in a pair of Roses curtains (minus the rods), and chest hair buldging through a v-neck shirt, perculating across stage in any of his videos.

I never recalled Jay Z, slapping a Jerri Curl on top of his head, and shaving three parts on both sides.

Hammer what is wrong with you? First off, you picked a dark skinned, pudgy stuntman to play Jay Z in that video, and that alone should be a crime to even pick such a thing to represent something already not so eye pleasurable. Feel me?

Then you got the nerve to repeatedly say "run run". Hammer, just because you got your money a lil bit more SCR-AIGHT *ding* than before, doesn't mean that you should just pick a dude off the Forbe's list to beef with. I know Jay's nose twitches everytime he watches that video, because its awful!!

Then where were you're real friends? Where were they when you made that video, because all of them should be fined. Fined for having the decency to sit back, and say nothing, while you do the tick in a fog.

The tick Hammer? Really?

Its 2011 and you still doing the tick?

I mean I know you had to pray just to make it do day and you cant be touched and all that, but I expect so much more from you. Instead of sitting back teaching kids how to do the hammer, like you should be doing, you chose the wealthiest rapper alive to go at, just to get some attention.

Dude.

Didn't you learn anything from the Ja-Rule and Fifty Cent beef? Luckily for you, Jay Z is still laughing, and his nostrils have not flared up to quarter size yet. We still on a good nickel size.

But when they do *shakes finger*

You going get it Hammer...

O-o-ohhhhhhh you gone get it.

In the meantime, sit your *ss down somewhere.

XoXo
Chakara

"Everybody Can't Be......."

Whatup Bloggies!
Hope all is well with you!
Now today's blog should not be taken as a discouraging one. Instead, I challenge you to take it as an "informative" one. I mean..hey...someone's gotta tell ya right?
I mean, I always thought I had a nice layup on the court..but hell..everybody can't be a ball player. I just put together some things that I felt needed to be put out there, because I'm a firm believer of your destiny. And well....Everybody can't BE what the hell they feel they want to be. I mean yeah, I'm no dream killer, but enough is enough.

First off.

Everybody cant be...
1. A drug dealer: All the kilos and things being talked about dont add up out here. I mean if an ignorant person didnt know any better, the hood would seem equivalent to Mexico with how much illegal drugs everybody has. You know? Y'all heard'em--" Ten five for the.." Dude #C'monson. YOu aint never seen Ten five (10,500)outside of backed taxes or child support payments. Lil "Middle of the Mall" chain dangling...so now you are worth a mill, selling grams. Come on, everybody can't be a drug dealer. Have you seen these federal indictments floating around. The snitches are not going to let you live for one. Then, you starting out twenty years after the prime of crack cocaine. Talmbout: One day I'mma be rich. Yeah, canteen rich. You might run the yard. Sell a couple flips of oatmeal pies...buterah thats it.

2. A model: Now I know your mama'em told you that you were cute. Hell, you might be. But everybody is not fit to be America's next top model. First off, just because you have a facebook account, a digital camera, and a bathroom mirror, DOES NOT MEAN that you should just label yourself the next Lola Love. A real model is confident in herself and will sit back and reap the expected compliments. An unreal model will tag the shit outta all of her facebook friends on her photoshoot done by "Lord Knows Who" praying for that confidence she's always looked for. Not to shoot anyone's dreams down, but a model is not just a pretty face, or a big butt. Cut it out.

3. A party promoter: First of all the club owners dont like doing business with you, because your parties are normally #Flopic. Y'all know the parties where you know things are crazy because there is mad parking. Then the promoter is outside pacing the parking lot, praying that folks start coming. The security officers outside slap boxing each other, trying to holler at the lil females who do show up. Why? Cause they dont have nothing else to do. Nothing needs to be secured because no one is in the club. But yet you wanna be a promoter. In the slammer one week, trying to recoup bond money with a party with a dumb ass theme. LOL Okay Im done.

4. A writer: I looooooooove my self published family. I do. I love my published authors as well. But..if i get tagged "ONE MORE 'GAIN" by someone who miss spells constantly four letter words...I will throw a book at my screen. Nowadays there is this thing called SPELL CHECK. Damn, couldja get familiar? I mean for the love of all of Dr. Suess's books. Get familiar. Its not to say that you dont have the "imagination" prospect of writing fiction together. But here you are, tagging ME, legends like (Author K'won and others) for us to see this maddness.

5. A rapper: First of all your beats suck. Let me get that out the way. LOL Every hot rapper needs a good beat maker. Then normally there are other things you probably want to accomplish first like "gaining INCOME". I mean how do you think you're going to fund your marketing aspect of becoming a lucrative artist? You gotta invest in yourself. Whether is studio time, beats, showcase entry fees, etc. Get some type of income. Being a rapper does not pay the bills. I mean selling cd's for 5 dollars might make you grocery money. MIGHT. Food kind of high, while you be-boxin' Shoooot. It might get you gas money for the week. Plus, you can never get rich by trappin your cds in your local neighborhood. Try another state. Go elsewhwere. Share your talent. I promise you'll never get discovered doing local stuff.


6.A Hair Stylist: Listen here. If you find yourself with no clientele or no returning customers. You might be who I'm talking to. If the look on the person's face you spin around to the mirror looks like a "Maybe", then you might be who I'm talking to. If you get constant calls during the week from folks you've traumatized with your lil "Eddie Griffin on the side" hairdoos....stuff like "My track came out, My curls fell, My roots are kinky in the middle still", then you might need to hang it up. I don't give a damn how many years of school you had. Everybody is not fit to be a hairstylist. Just because the imaginative voice coming from Ken told you that Barbie's hair was the ish, didnt mean you should have enrolled into Beauty School. Try something else like....Knitting *shrug*


7. A Barber: If it takes your ass a whole hour to cut hair, please let the damn clippers go. Dudes dont have all day. Folks son's don't have all day. Thats the simplicity of being a male; not having to sit in a salon all day. Its a busy Saturday and you cut 4 dude's heads. Consider another career. I mean come on. By the time you finish his edges, dude's sideburns have grown back. Time is valuable, and folks don't have all Saturday messing with you. Then you were supposed to give a dude a caesar, but you didnt get all the hair off his nape. So now, he's rocking the Theo Huxtable shag in the back.


8. The Church Choir Lead: The idea of a church choir lead is to get the Holy Spirit moving in the room, not kill the Holy Spirit. Everybody know when you're about to sing, cause kids start whispering, Ms. Mae starts fanning her fan harder and making that "stink" frown. Everybody looking around at everybody trying to see everyone else's reaction. The preacher all of a sudden needs more water. I mean hang it up boo boo. Its okay to hit the other group of Alto's and just sway in the back. That way, if you crack any glass, folks can blame it on whoever. Not just you.



This announcement has been brought to you by Chakara's Book of What Not To Be When You Grow Up.

Have a blessed day :)


XoXo Chakara

Yeah, I'm talking to YOU.

Long time no hear from blog family.
Whatsup.
All that I can say is that my life has been abundantly filled with opportunities which has given me a truckload of work to do..So, thats where I'm at.

Now.

I have somethings to get off of my chest, because somewhere along this increase network, folks have forgotten that I started out in this *sh as a one man show and when its all over..I will still be that one creator.
Now, dont get it twisted...I return the love given, and I support those who support me with out a doubt...but if their is one thing I need folks to understand is that I owe you nothing.

I dont owe you a hi-five.
I dont owe you a "good job".
I dont owe you my network.
I dont owe you any kind gesture.
Cause check this out...I worked HARD to get where I am. Im no club promoter. I dont work for anyone else but MYSELF and if all this sh*t falls apart...I will be the only one able to piece it back together.

Some folks have been getting in their feelings about the things I've made in P.S.A.'s on either social site. That was the purpose though. So that it would hit home. Good. Glad you read it.
I love good work of others, and I also respect a person just as far as they respect me.

But when you start doing things that could possibly affect where I eat at..then we have problems. I'm just like a dog with my territory. I'll do whatever I need to do to keep it safe from harm. What you do on my turf reflects on me. Once you've branded yourself, you do what you must to protect that brand.

If you think that switching lanes will get you to the finish line faster than staying in your own and pacing ur moves..you're wrong. But I cant save you. You my friend have just fell victim to being the rabbit in the race. And, well we all know that ending. I will continue to build my skyscrapers alongside of my own narrow lane, that way my visitors will have a more trusting notion about me. A trusting network will always return.

When they visit my lane on this busy industry highway they will know what they're getting, without getting any flim flam or being hustled by another person selling cds when I sell books. Get the anaology?

So, with all of this said...I still LOVE with everything..those who've truly genuinely care for the work I do and have actually supported the work I've done. Those who think its all about them and wish for support without giving any..after you finish getting full off ya self, drink a cup of STFU.

Okay

#DUECES


-Chakara

Independent Women Excuse is a Dependent Man's Cop-Out

As I stand PROUD with my independent women swagga
Im here to remind folks
where the common tossed around phrase came from.
Thats right.
Women have picked up the necessary title of the "Independent Woman" because they decided to take care of their responsibilities no matter what. Applause for those women, because time waits for no man, and an empty hand hanging outward will not put food in ur babies mouths.
But, nowadays you have grown men screaming that women need to be independent, forgetting WHY in the heck the "woman" became independent in the first place. What some should really be asking is: Why did she become independent, and why am I so determined to pull me an independent one?

Well, by all means ladies: HANDLE ur business. After all, if you dont do it, then who will? See, I remember hearing about a time when the man brought in the bread and the woman took care of the household, and the child saw this example right inside of their homes, most importantly for the little men of the house.

I say for MOST who scream "INDEPENDENT WOMEN"--they're actually saying.."You need to have ur own, so that you don't ask for mine."

Is that REAAAAAAAAAALLY manly men? LOL
I mean like really. The definition of a REAL WOMAN has a "given" of independent qualities, but with yall screaming the ish to the rooftops as if you yearn for it, one would think that ur sorta dependent ur damn self.

There is no such thing as a dependent woman. Thats a girl.
Understand that?
Feel me?

So with your constant screaming of "I need me an independent woman", your own dependent status should be questioned.
After all, what are you afraid of?
Possibly picking up a woman who will ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING?
Ha!

Answer me this though.
What are the qualities of the breadwinning MAN? Hmmm? I love my brothas so black men, I'm going to pick with yall for a second.
I suppose that our creator didnt make you guys strong and manly for a woman to depend on huh?
I suppose that it makes it easier for you to have an independent woman, b.c. that way she wont even THINK to tamper with your belongings right?

The only people who have the right to scream "INDEPENDENT women" are the children who live in households with single mothers. That's right dammit. I said it.

You know I'm happy that I've found the one I want to be with and I swear he better continue to play his cards correctly. I'm often annoyed by the dollar signs in a man's eyes, once I tell them of only my accomplishments.

Even though I'm no where near the financial HEIGHT they probably assumed, the looks in their eyes tell me their gameplan QUICKLY. Sorry, I dont house nickels. I love men for what they are and thats REAL STRONG men.

Some men nowadays are almost glued to independent women, just as much as tricks are the trickin men. You follow me? Spoiled by the take off of this "independent women" take off. I call it the Baby Boy syndrome.
So watch those who scream that, and question his ability to be INDEPENDENT him damn self.

If his eyes turn green at the sight of a woman with her OWN everything---then he may be the equivalent of just what he's fearful of; a dependent woman.

See an independent woman will not ask him for things that may result in his own personal embarrassment because he actually lacks that "thing".

An independent woman will put him in a stutter-filled situation where he has to give provide an answer of GIVE her anything.

Naw. He's afraid of that woman.

Man............I tell you what

Lets not get so hung HO--(or whatever that saying is LOL) over an independent woman. And woman PEEP THE SIGNS.

Don't just shake and nod ur head at a man disclosing "I need me an independent woman" and smile proudly b.c. you are one

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Take a DEEP LOOK into that man's situation, especially if you've considered him. It could be a trap. He could be looking for a sponsor just as well as Tierra Marie, but he'll hide it.

Until he asks to borrow ur car while YOU are at work.
Okay I'm fooling but so serious.

Watchem (Esther eye)

XoXo
Chakara

You Can't Look Hard And#

Whatup blog fam!
Whew have I been swamped, but I had to find time to talk about the masculine attempts some men put on, under b*tch*ssedness radar. Thats right. Today's blog is simply a fill in the blank topic. Feel free to join me cause this mess has to stop.

You can't look hard and#........


1. You can't look hard and have the same color eyes as Barbie Doll. Walking with a limp and hollering at girls at the club, does not take away from the fact that your eyes match your Air Ones. All you're missing now, is some eyeliner and a good lip gloss. How U doing?


2. You can't look hard while sitting in child support court, for a past due balance of 20,000, promoting your club event in the courtroom lobby at break time. You might not even have 30 days FREE, in order to make your own club event. Throw some D's on that child support tab. Nothinig manly here guys.


3. You can't look hard while blasting music and throwing 24s on the MALIBU your girl is currently financing. I knew it was a reason that I only saw you between the hours of 9-5 riding through the hood. She's at work! LOL Whats hard about you havinig to leave your boys when you get that phone call or text: BRING ME MY CAR.


4. You can't look hard while swiping your girl's food stamp card in the grocery store line. LOL How you got plenty money, but when it comes to buying groceries, you gotta go borrow her card? LOL Its OTAYYYY, just stop trying to look so d*mnn gangsta when you pay for you Juicy Juice without taxes lol.


5. You can't look hard, while browsing the aisles of the beauty supply store; asking which aisle is the bonding glue on. LOL You done got talked into going into the beauty supply store to get some track glue for your girl, because (1) you have her car, and (2) you aint got no d*mn job. So you pretty much run errands for her when you have her ish. C'mon son.


6. You cant look hard while walking down the aisle to put money in the offering pot. LOL Yes, it is manly that you pay your tithes, but it doesn't require a limp to a beat, and both your nostrils flared up like Ice Cube. WWJD? lol


7. You can't look hard while being escorted out the club, AFTER getting beat up in a fight and snuffed QUICKLY by two bouncers. There is no more "umph!" in you bruh' Your good sense is still liable to be laying on the floor with your doorag and torn our dreadlocks lol. Fix your face!


8. You can't look hard while standing in the FREE line at the club, when the skip line is only 10.00. How you in the free line, thumbing thru your ones, worried about how you gone buy a girl a drink and yourself one. LOL Its 1:45 am, the bar closes at two. Don't come to the club with less than 20 dollars and getting crunk when Gucci comes on. LOL


9. You cant look hard while riding a scooter. I don't care if a gang of Bloods pull up in an all black SUV, and grill you like Debo did Smokey. LOL You can't look hard. Your knees are touching the handle bars, and your helmet doesn even match your bike. LOL Cut it out!


10. You can't look hard and take an order in the McDonald's drive-thru. You can lick your lips baby boy, flash your Iphone, or whatever. You cannot BE GANGSTA. I wont work lol. Now make sure you put ketchup in my bag next time, instead of tryin to flex your chain from Fashion Ave.


11. You can't look hard while filling up your gas can at the convenient store. LOL Nobody told you to buy an SUV in the middle of a recession, yet you carry around a gas can as your insurance. At the counter talmbout let me get 2.00 on pump 3 "Oh, and do you have a paper towel?" LOL Quit playin.



12. You can't look hard while walking into the STD Clinic. Maybe you walk with a twitch for some other reason. Hmmmph. Either or you are going into a place where your most prized "possessions" are going to be swabbed and fiddled with. What's gangsta about that?


13. You can't look hard while having internet beef on a library computer. First off, your window in the corner says you have 5 more minutes of online time. You cant type but so many "Blood B's" in that many minutes. Give it up! LOL Ole artificial gang members.

14. You can't look hard coming out of jail with no shoe strings in you shoes. LOL I know you just got out. "Locked up....they won't let me out" still playin in your head. But those Air Ones you were trapping in, when you got locked up are THROWN. They's singing "lock me up" and the tongues are hanging out, all crazy. LOL Put your shoe strings in then resume to being gangsta. LOL


15. And last but not least, you can't look hard and ask for extra sensitive condoms at the convenient store counter. Ole extra sensitive wanker having mug lol. LOL You cant look hard and cop these. You just can't. Then on top of that you requested the pink color. Get real!!




Its been fun. Now back to WORK. LOL I love this!


XoXo Chakara

##YOUR KID SHOULD FIRE YOU IF.....

NOW

Poor babies LOL
Y'all seen them.
Every now and again, I'll run across a child who is clearly caught up in some mess that their PARENT tried to "make work" in their situation.
Lil dude didn't have his swim trunks, so there he is in the swimming pool with some cut off shorts; one side cut high the other side dangling down by his knees.

Parents should be fiRED.

Today I list multiple situations where I, Chakara, would give a kid permission to fire a parent. lol



1. If you cut your son's HEAD, and instead of tapering the fade, you ROUND that joint out. So, now he has a complete "bowl" on the top of his head. You should be fired. Who cares that clippers were on sale at Walmart? Don't do that to him. Nine times out of ten the "bowl" portion of the cut is too darn small. Now he walking around looking like he has a dartboard at the top of his head. FIRED.


2. If your daughter's hair is short, its okay. I promise you it is, but all those d*mn barrettes and rubberbands will not make an illusion of it being longer. Why is she walking around looking like a X-mas tree by the head? I can not STAND seeing a little girl with ponytails the length of a newborn babies pink toe, with barrettes bigger than the "pig" tail itself, dangling from it. If she fell she could seriously jab her scalp with something. FIRED.


3. Now, everyone knows that as SOON as Jordans or some type of exclusive athletic shoe comes into play, you'll find that Walmart, Target, and other places will try to duplicate the shoe, in their own fashion. Why is it that your son has every pair of "duplicate" Jordans I-X?? LMBO. But you couldn't be simple and buy him a cheaper more NICELY PUT TOGETHER shoe. Nah, you think you gone pysch the whole school out, by putting him in the Michelle Jordan's from Walmart, and no one is going to say anything to dude? Yeah yeah yeah, I know that namebrands do not make a person. I buy my daughter offbrand stuff all the time, but its nothing that trying to imitate another major priced namebrand item. Its just simple, original, no name things. Stop making that boy get roasted in gym class. Its not fair!!!! FIRED.


4. Now this post is not for kids who live in Alaska; Antartica either (if their are any). But, listen here, this is North Carolina. There is no need for your daughter to have on a turtle neck, underneath a wool sweater, a tshirt, tights underneath her courdoroys, two pairs of socks, and a coat. Face VASELINE-D *ding* down. LMBO. Dont forget the toboggin and gloves. Our winters are NOT that serious. Poor child is sweating!!!!! I can't stand to see such. SN: My mother used to handle me like this. Then on top of that, I had cornrows that connected at the ends, so I looked like a Vietnamese Eskimo. Wow. FIRED!


5. Your child isn't skinny, so unfortunately he can't follow the skinny jean trend. Stop purchasing SLIMS for your son, who was once Lil John and now he's Big Red. Its a health risk, when he's at school trying to make it to class, but his skinny jeans have LOCKED right around his thigh area, and he's waddling to his classroom. No really. Then the child's butt is hanging over the top of the jeans. Stop it. Don't make him look stank like that. FIRED.


6. Nowadays if a child places a whole in his jeans, eh, I don't think that a patch is a good idea. LOL Y'all remember when your mom would iron a patch in your jeans? Well I'll be God darnit, I saw a young dude with a patch OVER his jeans. Dats right. His mother didn't even have the decency to but the green jointsINSIDE of his light blue jeans. She smacked them right on top of them. Now he look like he's repping the Go Green campaign by the knees. C'mon SON! Where did you find them patches anyways!!???!!!!!! I thought I wrote the president about them. LOL



7. Now this is for my special bunch. Some folks may have never experienced this sight, but if you are from NC, or anywhere of heavy hispanic decent...looka here. Ballroom gowns and soccer shoes don't go together during ANY POINT IN YOUR LIFE. The sad part is the little latino girls I've seen this on, are absolutely BEAUTIFUL, but they look like they came to the party in preparation to "dougie on the floor". Then the Addidas or whatever the shoe may be, are like "red dirt" filthy. Its like...what gives????? The dress has a vail (lmbo), some lace, glitter and stars, but get down to her feet and she World Cup-in it. LMBO. Come on now. FIRED.


8. Lil Johnny wants cornrows so bad, but his lil hair wont get out of that MATTED (aka notty as heck) phase. So, what DID YOU DO? You go and purchase this lil dude a RELAXER. Y'all have seen lil boys, teens with a relaxed texture in their head. Now, they wonder why their cornrows won't stay. The only folks with permission to wear perms are Al Sharpton, Snoop Dog, and Katt Williams. Anyone outside of those three, should be listed under "what NOT to look like". Your hair is going to break. Listen here. Unless you plan on shampooing and conditioning once a week, and maintaining HIS relaxed hair, don't set him up to look like Rick James. If his hair will not grow, then I dont know.....Cut it off? He's a boy d*mmit!


9. WEAVE that you would buy for your head, exists in the head of your child. Nuff Said. FIRED.


I'm going to cap it off at 10....b/c someone might be in their feelings about some of these lol

But....last and definitely not least.

10. Pulling one's socks UP does not take away the fact that the jeans that should be bootcut, now look like capris. Children grow at ridiculous rates, but by all means please....please...save them from the "flood look". He might have some brand new Jordan's but he can't rock them with jeans that hang just below his calve muscle. Stare at the screen real close.
Now.
HE IS GOING TO GET ROASTED, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

His ankles will be exposed LOL.

Protect ya ankles!

---This was fun.

I love kids, but I also remembered the times when my mother did me and my brother DEAD wrong, just wishing someone would have brought these point to the light.

Feel free to add on!

XOXO Chakara

Unbe-WEAVE-able Offensive Fouls

Today's world is one where women of all kinds, have the accessibility to man different hair pieces; long and short, blonde and blue, curly or straight, and etc.

With opportunity comes idiots who take advantage or like my homie always says "jumps completely out of the window" with the current trend. Example: the hair style may call for curly hair, but one may add a few spiral curles, a pink hair track, and some flat twists up the back of their head. Now one may call it orginality, but I call it a technicality.

Where do they do that?

Today I list TERRIBLE offensive fouls by weave wearers. I ask that women RESPECT the weave. Treat it like your own. Tie it up, and do not attempt to run your behind out of YOUR living corridors, looking like birds camp out in your joint.

1. Quick Weave Madness: There is nowhere ON earth, where a woman's head naturally grows in a tiger stripped pattern. So, placing a weave in your head that describes such, shouldnt' get you anywhere but on a doctor's table for a rabie shot. Everytime I see this I ask; What animal (stuffed or alive) had to die to make that happen? One color is okay sweets. After all, you are a grown woman. Head lookin like a kalaidascope. Just because the doo was labeled "quick" didn't mean you could throw anything together.

2. The Cone-head: Lawwwwwd, I remember when there weren't any closers. Anyone who wears weave knows what a closer is. LOL It's the piece of hair, shaped in a circular pattern, mean't to close in hairstyles that require it. (So that the track is not visible). With this being said, WHY are folks still walking around looking like a conehead by the crown of their head?? Everytime I see this I want to BOP a chick on top of the head. Throw some PINS on that ISH! LOL Head looking like a pyramid. LOL

3. Recycled tracks: If you don't return those tracks you borrowed from your homegirl, who wore them for three weeks straight. The only tracks meant to be re-used are those that cost a pretty penny. Those that are of a natural and pure state. Example: Indian Remi (pURE) etc... Why are you still recycling the tracks that sit on the floor of the beauty supply store, in a cardboard box?? Didn't the label tell you specifically: These tracks are cheap ass hell. Do not share. ???? There you go all in MY way at the bar, with a couple tracks at the top of your head that will not lay down. Meanwhile, I'm behind you forced to perform sign language to the bartender, cause neither of us can see each other. Womp womp. Stop recycling tracks, then maybe those suckas will lay down.

4. Not enough tracks, too much head.- Tig Ole Head havin hookas lol. I know you wanted pure Remi hair, and yes, I know it costs about 150 a pack, but if you didnt have enough to buy two packs, then WHY in the **** did you try to stretch out one as if no one could tell the difference. Who puts tracks in their head to APPEAR to be thinning out? I can literally COUNT how many tracks are in females heads that do this. Hang it up. Try again. Next time try; TWO PACK HAIR FOR U. lol

5. Grease Head: You ever seen a female who had tracks in then looked like she oiled them joints down with baby oil?? You can't really miss her, cause she's the chick with the one inch side burns also GEL-ED down the side of her face. LOL! I'm not wearing a weave that has the potential to clog my pores. NAWL. Y'all ever heard of hair serum? You don't have to apply much, plus it wont make you look like an extra of Nelly's "Hot N Here" video. LOL! Gotta love the grease heads.

6. Baldy Mcsmaldies- Hair might be the length of this keyboard key, but she bought hair that goes down to her butt. Hair might not cover the track entirely, but she's cute though. By the end of the night, a couple strands are sticking up like spikes, but she cute though. STOP IT. Please find you a weavIST that knows what styles you can and can't wear, according to your hair length crisis. Maybe its just not time to jump into a 21 inch weave. Maybe you need to start at 4 inches, then WORK your way up. I don't know, but fix it!!

7. WIGS: If you gone wear a weave make sure its turned correctly. I saw a woman the other night with her wig turned completely in the wrong direction. The part was down the back of her head. LOL I was sure by the end of the day, she had turned and jerked that joint so many times, that she had forgotten which way it actually was supposed to sit. Also, make sure that its IN PLACE. Folks can get roudy in the establishments some of y'all like to visit, and I'd hate to see the raise of one's elbow and a bump to your head, be the exposure of a lifetime. Some notty *** cornrows underneath, or a stocking cap. LOL Get it right!!

8. Ponytails: If you can not wear a ponytail of your OWN, without your edges suffering from negligence, then HANG UP THE HOMEMADE PONYTAILS. lol I love seeing this, and laughing to myself cause I could only imagine what the woman said while she fixed it in the mirror. "This is going to have to work" then BAAM! There sits a ponytail, at the crown of her head, and all of her edges singing "WE WON'T GO!" LOL If gel cant hold them joints UP, then let the ponytails go. LOL

9. Roots: DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO NOT. Attempt to insert the hair of another human being on your hair, if your roots have more kinks in it than a swinger's party. LETS TRY A RELAXER FIRST, blow out and chis, or whatever that may apply. Then come again. Its not fair to those tracks to be sittin up high, when they should be laying down peacefully.

and last but not least

10. Braids with NO pattern: Call me biased, but I only deal with a few nationalities when it comes to MY braids. Ya dig? I'on have time to inspect hundreds of braids, to make sure they all sing together in harmony. One of my pet peeves is seeing folks with "so called braids" but the braids look like my six year old did them. I would not EVER sit down for hours to get up with more problems. HOT MESS. End of story.

Aye! Follow me on twitter Author Chakara!

List more!

I know y'all are tired.

LOL

XOXO

Chakara

LADIES: DO YOU KNOW ANY MUTTS?

Time and time again, I hear and witness the same redundant break-up stories, over the same UNIDENTIFIABLE BREEDS, aka MUTTS.

The reason I call them mutts are easy. All men display DOG characteristics...and thats okay. They just need to be trained on whats okay and whats not okay in front of their owners. Ladies can I get an AMEN on that? Cause y'all know when they're with the homies, somethings will fly from their mouths, that you wouldn't easily tolerate. But thats okay.
We understand.
But anywhoo.

Today's blog post is for this crucial contagious epidemic, that has basically trickled down to us females, who've laid down with dogs for so long, that they have become MUTTS too.

All of the dudes she's ever been with have been mutts, so predictably now she's doing ass backwards stuff too. And unfortunately, she looks TEN TIMES worse, because she's a woman.

Today I list the common MUTT behavior, coming from a lifetime of dealing with NO GOOD MEN AKA MUTTS.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #1----------Why are you calling the phones of people you dont know, attempting to question that unknown person about your MUTT?

---Do you realize how dumb you sound when you can't even provide a name after "Can I speak with ______?" You've been going through these mysterious phone call episodes with your man for five years now, and you feel as though the woman who may and may not even be seeing your man owes you some type of explanation? You have'nt gotten any explanations from Leroy in the past five years. STOP PLAYING YOURSELF.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #2-----------Stop grilling every woman who looks better than you, when you are with your MUTT.

First off, any look besides a pleasant one, normally looks a hot mess. Fix your face. If he's going to cheat, he will cheat. Not one growl of yours is going to stop your mutt from wondering off. The least thing you could do, would be to LOOK like something. Erase the "what you talkin bout WILLIS" look in Harris Teeter, damn.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #3-------------Stop running up on your man in social settings, because he's talking to another woman.

You don't know what the hell they are talking about, yet you run up an interupt. I hope the next time you run up, someone has a drink dangling and mid air and you run into it. I hate hate hate! when females do this. I do alot of business in the social atmosphere, and I talk to alot of men. You can always tell his mutt from a distance, because she's staring at you atleast ten minutes before you notice her. PLUS, she can't even enjoy herself, because she's too busy trying to be in seeing distance of her man. C'mon son.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #4------------------Stop threatening to cheat, because you believe that he's cheating on you.

How do you look? Is subjecting yourself to disease and other disgust, by up-ping your sexual partners, REALLY a comeback? LMBO


MUTT BEHAVIOR #5----------------------Stop having babies by the mutt. It's not going to change him.

He's been cheating on you for your entire relationship, but somewhere or another you felt like having a baby might put his cheating at a holt. B*tch please. Now, not only are you hollering at him every night, you got five hollering kids hollering at YOU BOTH. Try a birth control method besides swallowing. Sheesh!


MUTT BEHAVIOR #6----------------------Stop sitting in circles with girls, talking about how much "He aint sh*t".

Obviously, he's something for yall to be talking about him for the past two hours on the phone. You and her both laughing at the things both of your men do, but then let the sun go down, and the same dude who wasn't sh*t before is laying in your bed. SHUT UP.

MUTT BEHAVIOR #7-------------------------Stop riding by every place you think he may be, when he's not answering his phone for you.

First off, you have no badge. You can't be jumping out like the police in the summertime, with no vest. You don't know what you may run up on, and that's real. You ever heard of the phrase, "Don't go looking for trouble". Now, you sitting somewhere looking like a ninja with a weave, waiting on your MUTT to pop up. How you look holmes?

MUTT BEHAVIOR #8----------------------------Stop sleeping with him unprotected if you know that he's cheating.

Black women are at the top of the list of the newly diagnosed of HIV. I wonder why. Stop being so naive. If you had intuition for the past YEAR that he's cheating, HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you continue to lay down with him. Do you not value your life enough to ask his suspect *ss to wrap it up????? C'mon man.



MUTT BEHAVIOR #9-----------------------------Stop expecting a MUTT to raise your son into a MAN.

If you gotta push your kids out the door with him, maybe he's not connecting with them enough. Stop putting these creatures in the postition of being role models to the kids YOU gave birth to. If they're his, and he's not acting accordingly (like a father), stop forcing it on him because you are too stupid to leave him alone. Must the kids endure such nonsense as well??? Damn.



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

MUTT BEHAVIOR #10-------------------------------Stop taking his MONEY and accepting it as a PEACE TREATIE for him f*cking up time after time.

I see females brag all the time about the sorry dude whose sleeping around, and everyone knows it. They like to throw stuff out there all the time like "I'm the baby mama, He paid MY rent, he paid MY light bill, he paid for MY hair to get done."


AND?
So what? A tight sew in doesnt look to good with chlamydia burning in your crotch. You sound STUPID. So stop being so dependent on the MUTT.

Whoops. I forgot you are one now.

Woof Woof Woof.

Buzzards

XoXo
Chakara

Chakara's Quick Response To Slim Thug Bashing Black Women

I was asked to respond back to this madness, because alot of men felt like they SCORED, on behalf of the words for "Slim Thug" on BET's website.

Now.

Let me start off by saying, no disrespect to this brother. Although, the fact that he sits like seven feet in the air, weighing well over 250 pounds, tells me that his perception on things are a bit flawed, since he calls himself "Slim Thug". Moving right along though....(lol)

The problem I have with the entire callout is that everyone wants to blame the "black woman."

Black women dont do this right

Black women dont do that right

Black women

Black women

Black women

The attacks have gotten outrageous, yet the follower antics created by certain men to try to IMPRESS these "women", have grown tremendously.

I mean we won't treat our men like kings, but meanwhile our "men" are acting like clowns, by smoking, drinking, being promiscuous, and disowning their responsibilities like the sperm cell they released, that grew into a CHILD.

Enough of that will make any real WOMAN, black or white, wake up.

I wish like hell I would cater to a man, who doesnt care enough about himself to CATER to his health, his financial stablity, his CHILDREN, and his community.

See to gain the title King, you gotta walk the walk.

Being born MAN, does not make you a King breh'.

Every man cant rule a kingdom. Every man isn't fit for the job.

Therefore, every man will not get treated as such.

Now, Slim Thug said: "Most black men who are "successful" are extinct. So women have to bow down and start cooking, working hard, and standing by their black man. Not, holding their heads up high and walking past us.

Excuse my foul language, but dude WTF?

I'd love to see you tell your daughter to treat Lil Killer from the Lou like a King because he is a MAN.

See, I skimmed after reading that, and to be honest..his entire interview was one big contradiction.

Its funny because he'd catch himself, when whining about what black women need, then realize that brothers aint doing that shit either.

See, this is my thing.

From the beginning of time, men were born leaders, kings.

Then as time passed by, and they were just BORN. Ya dig.

Every man is not a king Sweetie.

Every man may see themselves as a KING, but he really couldn't handle a kingdom.

Shoot, some men can't even handle the BILLS.

So picture royal treatment.

Another thing Slim Thug: You are what you attract.

If you walk around with jewels dripping from both ears, your neck, your wrist, etc..you get what you give off.

You get those women who are after your money, because your exterior presents just that.

If women are after your money, then its probably because you are flashing it to attract them.

Think about it.

Is Blood Really Thicker Than Water? Family Vs Friends

All of my life, I've heard the infamous "blood is thicker than water" cliche', and today I bring it to the forefront.

Family, is the makeup of one's relatives and is supposed to be one's own natural network of those who hold them in a special place in their hearts.

Right?

Friends are relationships that one must earn, or work on building with a stranger of their liking?

Right?
We tend to build friends in those areas that interest us the most. Those who attend church and church activities tend to build friendships with those who participate in the same thing.

Then we all have those childhood friends who we played with many years ago, but still kept in touch with. Those are very dear to us as well.

Or, one who plays sports alot, will normally build friendships with his/her jock colleagues or buddies.

It is what it is.

So, you see, with friendships we have a CHOICE, of whom we want to befriend.

Whereas, with family, you deal with the cards you are dealt.

The crazy, the senile, the snobby, the fat, the skinny, the childish, the jealous, the loving, or whatever.

You get what you get, and you live with it.

Pop aspirin if need be.

That's your family.

Now, the question at hand is: Is blood really thicker than water?

I'm going to give y'all my answer, in a minute but hold up.

How many friends do you have?

Personally, I can count all of my true friends on just my two hands.

I value those people like they are worth zillions, because in my book, the value of them being here for me when I need them, is priceless.

You can't put a pricetag on it.

Family?

Man, my family stretches from Conneticut to Georgia, and I wouldnt even know WHERE to begin, in counting them all.

They're everywhere.

Now my answer.

Blood is indeed thicker than water, BUT some kinships are a lil anemic.

You know what I'm saying?

I mean I have an aunt right now, that if I even muster up the word "favor" with my lips, she'll give me that "nigga please" look proudly.

LOL.

Still love you auntie (wink.)

And, I have an aunt who will swim the Atlantic to come rescue me. (well you know not really, but you get the point.)

I hate to admit it, but when there is something really personal I gotta lift off my chest, and need the nonjudgemental companionship of someone, I WILL NOT call most of my family members...

LOL

Why? Because most of them have already made up their minds about "how I am" years ago. Despite how many changes, I morphed my way through, my family still believe they "know how I am."

Nothing I say to them is new to them, because they know how I am.

Blah.

*stomps on the ground*

Alot of the times family, does't take not of change in one another.

Some of us still believe that lil John, is still lil John who used to play basketball and get mad when he loses. Well, lil John is now standing six feet five, very good at basketball, and has learned over the years to brush his bad attitude off in games.

Did family really know that? Nawl.

LOL. Family members have stuck with the last memory they had of this brother, and never changed it.

What about his friends? Of course they do, they also know his favorite movies of today, and what type of music he listens to.

Hell, even I think that I know particular close family members to the TEE.

When maybe I really don't.

Hmm.

Especially when the only time I see them, is on holidays, special events, or at family reunions.

So, with that said.

There is no way that NOWADAYS, in this busy place called "WORLD", that ALL family is thicker than frienships.

There is no way.

Alot of us have family stretched all over the world.

This would be impossible, although we hate to admit it.

This is my opinion, so note that.

Its not for family members to become offended either, but its a wake up call for family members to re-kindle "genuine" friendships with those family members they LOVE and CARE for alot.

Get to know your cousin again, because I'm sure he's changed since y'all were twelve.

Build that friendship.

I would like to know what others think.

Is blood really thicker than water?

Are the relationships you have with your family members stronger than the bond you have with true friends.

Lets talk about it.

XoXo

Chakara

"Um...I don't want your MAN!"

Cause I got it like that.

And it aint even gotta be like that.

ah ha hant. hant. hant.

LOL

No really.

Today's topic is one of the most annoying topics of all time for me.

I mean really.

Did insecurity crash along with Wall Street?

What is wrong with this world?

If I see another negro SLAPPED on aisle three in the supermarket for being accused of staring too hard at the cereal box "behind" me, I will scream.

You ladies have seen these women!!

They see you before the man sees you and thats when the "I wish a b*tch would" stares take place.

So, you ignore them, because why?

Dude is normally UGLY, NOT WORTH THE DRAMA, or looking like a "SIMP". (AKA an ole follow the leader *ss dude)

Plus, obviously he's taken like really. LOL

Not only, do you have his hand clenched tight, but you are prowling the entire parking lot, upon entering the store of any competition, that may take his attention FROM YOU.

But understand, nobody WANTS your man.

Confused females KILL me with this.

Insecurities have turned some women into complete fools.

The insecurities derive from relationships that have no substance. Relationships that arnt based off of the basic virtues or morals that hold one together.

There is normally NO TRUST.

There is normally low self ESTEEM level on the woman's behalf.

There is normally PROBLEMS with FIDELITY in the relationship.

There is normally a CHEATING past, of the "prize" male, one guards like a hood's pit bull.

Wake up!

One can't have a fullfilling relationship with the majority of the above.

You can watch every woman that passes you by in the offering LINE, but you will NOT succeed in keeping this man from anything he wants to go and get.

First off, any man who knows his woman acts this way is probably stressed the fuck out.

Stress your man and then watch his head get small because HE WILL BOUNCE.

Can you blame him?
To be treated like a prison inmate, on a simple trip to the mall is embarrassing.

You've seen the dudes who are emotionally scarred from being treated like a personal slave.

They barely look at you in the grocery store line, because they don't wanna hear the bs in the car.

Or, they look like they're looking straight ahead at all times, almost as if their in drivers ED.

Both hands on the steering wheel and ish.

Dude.

I wonder if their is a sacrafice of one's genitals upon signing up to be such a SIMP.

Like really.

You know whats really funny though.

Most of the time I see this.

The woman is much BIGGER than the many.

Like weight wise.

Hmm.

LOL

Maybe its a southern thing.

What do you think?
What are some annoying episodes you've had with women thinking

YOU WANT THEIR MAN?

Please share.

XoXo Chakara

Should Tiki Barber Be Allowed In The Delivery Room?

Let me think about it.................

Still thinking................

.............................

Sure.

Why not?

Question is....how is it that all of a sudden the birth of your child deems to be so special to you though? I mean, when your eyes were sizing up the "barely legal" young lady and his wife's belly sat on explode, did childbirth seem so damn special then Tiki?

I think not.

This is just another lousy case of "men" FRONTIN for the masses.

He messed up BIG time.

Knew this once he STARTED the affair, now that the baby is on his/her way, its time for him to ACT RIGHT.

Fill that absent void of a father not being there.

Only thing is, Tiki's silly *ss is LATE.

See, no one should be denied the right to see their child born. Whether it be the mother or the father, but there is this thing called respecting when one *ucks UP.

Tikki doesn't care anything about the emotional heartache his wife is going through, ALONG with childbirth.

I can't blame her for NOT wanting him in the delivery room.

He represents nothing but infidelity and slut behavior.

While being in a room sedated by drugs, naturally going through pain, or whatever, NOT ONE woman would want to look at the man who left them eight months pregnant for a damn teenie bopper damn near.

NOT ONE.

So, yes, I feel this woman's frustrations.

Tiki is a NUTHOUSE.

He's selfish and will battle with karma something serious.

Any man that inflicts pain on the woman who is carrying their child, and then continues to torture that person by trying to be involved too early after his lying/cheating episodes is pure scum.

A karma target.

Men are so silly at times.

They commit this horrible crime of infidelity and then they keep on piling on toppings to the scenario.

Tikki's ass just doesnt know when to quit.

Now some might whine: "He's the father"

"He has every right."

Funny.

A father to me is someone who deems the childbirth AND prenatal care and health of their pregnant spouse (or mate) enough to act like a real man.

Now, some also might say, that we don't know why he left his wife.

Maybe it was something she was doing.

Well, you know what maybe your right.

But doesnt the damn timing seem just a lil bit off?

He leaves this woman, foot swollen, belly weighing a ton, peeing every five minutes, for ANOTHER woman.

Eight months into her pregnancy.

Then demands to be in the delivery room

Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'm gone laugh.

Yes sir.

I'm going to LAUGH when karma knocks on that DOOR.

Yes Yes.

Anyways, you've all been tuned in to this morning's celebrity gossip.

Share your thoughts.

XoXo

Chakara

The DeadBeat Mother Vs The DeadBeat Father

There really is no comparison.

Some women believe that their only duty in raising a child is to push them out.

Some father's believe that their only duty as a father is to provide the sperm cell.

Then they take it upon their own decision to

KEEP IT HOT.

Leaving this child handicapped of atleast ONE parent to guide them through life.

Funny, you'll catch the same deadbeat father screaming.."Life is a bitch!"

Well, imagine what your son is thinking, when they can't make the right "manly" decision, due to lack of guidance.

Or what your daughter thinks when the first man who calls her pretty asks for some of her jewels.

Could you imagine?

Of course you could imagine. You too were once a child.

Now, I can talk about deadbeat fathers all day.

But deadbeat mothers are all in a league of their own.

Excuse my French but B*TCHES.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Where are your maternal insides?

The connection between a child and his or her mother is UNEXPLAINABLE.

When this is absent, you take on the resemblence of some ALIEN.

What the hell are you?

Where did you come from and why don't you go back?

Daily, young women are molded into being what they should NOT be.

And there you GO.

Giving NOTHING to the young girl who will grow up a confused woman. Hopefully, society will be kind to her and allow her to mold correctly.

Hopefully.

I mean is that what you think when you wake up in the morning and tend NOT to your children, but to other things that have no assistance in you being a better woman?

We must not, as mothers allow what happened in our past, reflect how we will present ourselves in our future.

Not one drug addiction, man addiction, poverty level, or any other hangup should discourage you from being a MOTHER to your child.

Nothing.

Its not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.

Not one of us is perfect. In our children's eyes we are valuable.

Respect that.

Understand That.

Get on your jobs because NOTHING is worse than a DEadbeat Mother.

Nothing.

Today's announcement was short and straight to the point.

Feel free to add to my blogspot and let deadbeat mothers know how you feel.

Thanks

XoXo

Chakara

ACT NOW: An HIV Crisis (Listen Up!)

I dawned on me this morning to talk about this.

Put you all on to something that no one ever talks about.

Those who know me probably guessed it, but its HIV.

See, I'm from the south and the CDC told me a couple years ago that there was a state of emergency and need to ACT on HIV/AIDS NOW..in my old community.

See, I sat on a panel of great and annointed HIV community activists, from the great Minister Forbes of NY, to a man who contracted HIV on death row, after being convicted falsely.

Each one of the persons, along with self, explained to the audience what they saw in the HIV community and the problems that watered stigmas to grow.

Such as

-Miseducation

-Shame

-Guilt

-Ignorance

and so forth....

Just a couple days ago it was HIV Advocacy Day

and well..

as usual.

Guess who were absent?

My people.

Where were you?

We gotta fight this and the only way we can do it successfully is to get educated, educated each other, and get tested each year.

Know your status.

Speaking on this state of emergency.

First off do you know how much HIV medications cost???

I couldnt afford them and I know the average black American couldnt afford them.

A regimen of meds can exceed multiple thousands of dollars.

Thats right.

Now, I don't want to narrow this down to the black race, but right now this is my audience and I need for you guys to listen up.

ADAP- Is a government funded HIV medication drug assistance program. In other words, if a person is HIV positive and cannot afford the medicines that can help them stay alive, then ADAP provides these medicines TO THEM.

Enabling them to a normal life, when taken correctly and acting compliant in medical care.

A common thing for a person who tests positive for HIV asks is

"How long will I stay alive?"

Well, with 75 percent of the ADAP waiting list dwelling in the south, I'm not really sure if I could answer this question.

Right now...

501 people in North Carolina are on an ADAP waiting list.

in South Carolina only 81

and in Kentucky 200..

You guys this is a crisis.

Real talk.

My father, your family member, an HIV positive child, and whomever else is waiting patiently to get the drugs they need to survive.

And all we really need to do is speak up about it?

What good are meds to people who can't afford to get them?

They are no good, and I see the stress on those men and women, waiting patiently for their name to be pulled out of the lottery....

only to be told

that they have a chance at fighting HIV b/c they can now recieve meds.

There is a bill, created by the Senate of the U.S.

Your area representative

My area representative

They need to know about this.

PLEASE ACT NOW.

The bill is called "The Access ADAP Act"

Call your senator rep

Richard Burr...Kay Hagan (examples)

and educate them on this bill.

This bill if passed will bring us more money, that will ease up the waiting list crisis.

This heavy waiting list crisis in North Carolina.

Especially.

Remember OUR PEOPLE NEED THIS.

HIV has taking taken over our communities.

Our brothers and sisters live with this disease day in and day out.

First off, they have to be quiet about their status, because its that shame and guilt that stigmas have placed in their conscience.

Then, on top of all of that nonsense, they are stressing day to day about not being able to get HIV medications.

Call your rep today.

Email your rep today.

Write a letter and mail it off today.

C'mon guys.

Five minutes.

Five hundred lives.

Lets get it.

XoXo Chakara

"Ladies You Are Game. Don't Get Caught So Easily"

Reality.

With my upcoming and new projects, involving much older and mature women than myself, I've often thought about topics involving the opposite sex AKA our s/o's from Mars.

Today's topic inspired by a good advisor and friend of mine.

Today's topic.

"Ladies you are game. Stop getting caught so easily".

We all love to quote the values and duties of real men, yet we settle with men who only present these qualities during the "chase" or the intiation process (for some of us). Then *poof*.

Those qualities crawl up under a rug right along with their dirty socks and t.v. remote.

I've heard of wonderful fairytale imagery having relationships of associates and friends, and then before I can spin around there is a break-up floating around, ready to land.

In our laps.

Why?

Because we then find out that the man we once valued as such a "good man", has expired into a spoiled milk form.

Ruined.

Why?

Easy.

You did it.

You allowed him to catch you.

You fell to the game by tripping up, instead of keeping him on his game of chase.

Please follow Tiphani Montgomery on Twitter (s.n. Author Chakara too), because homegirl put me on to buckoo secrets, when it comes to these deer hunting egos we deal with day to day.

Now whose looking for real men?

B/c if you are not, then I suggest you to go find another blog topic for today.

This one isn't for your sweets.

Real men *aheM* love the art of traditional childhood act of "chasing."

Let's let them play hard ladies.
Reference the very popular hunting games men huddle up and participate in year round.

The girl who teases the boy next door, with her subtle smiles and light blushing, while brisking past him silently, eagers him MORE

than the girl next door whose always IN HIS FACE, smiling, confessing how much she's really fallen for him.

She's way too easy.

She's caught in other words.

He'd rather chase the private admirerer.

The one who gives him a run for his manhood.

Some tend to believe that old timing chilvary acts, such as: opening the car door for his woman, running to her rescue providing safety, taking off his jacket in the midst of chilly weather for his woman to have it, him always picking upt he tab, etc etc.....HAVE ALL EXPIRED.

Yeah, they've expired because of YOU all. (lol)

You all (and self in the past) have allowed them to catch you too easily, now these chases are only short-lived and gentlemen acts are no longer needed as catching tools.

In fact, these men are not needing any tools any longer to catch their game.

Alot of women practically wound THEMSELVES with imaginary victory, believing they have him in their grasps ALREADY, landing themselves, keepsakes included, on these men's doorsteps.

Chase over.

He's now bored.

Now, you wonder why he's on the prowl for his next prize.

Stop letting him catch you so easily.

I don't care how many odd stares he give you.

He's a man, and he will be confused for a minute.

But then...

If he really wants it bad enough...

He will realize that he loves this chase.

He wants to continue running after this.

And no matter what....

He's going to get it.

Run him until his tongue falls slightly out of his mouth, and he's thirsty for attention hydrates.

Real talk.

Don't fall or do one of those cheesy horror movie trip ups.

Keep dodging.

Stand at that door and wait for him to open it.

Kick the independent woman ego to the side for a minute, until he has TRULY deserved your assistance.

Pick up a tab on a date if you want to *snide eye* and jump right off of a plank afterwards.

He'll go on another chase, and it will not be after you.

You've been warned.

Get him used to being the man and doing EVERYTHING a man should do before you cop out and go easy on him.

Go Go!

XoXo Chakara

Men: Lets Chop It Up (Ladies Feel Free To Join)

Now,
Maybe I will never get married, and I'm okay with that.
I'll marry my money.
They're presidents anyways. (hmph.)

But...
Time and time again I become annoyed by the BASIC sh*t men do, in their act of trying to catch on the playing field.
I really don't like doing lists, because for me, they like never end.
This one especially.
Like Deejay Lil Bee says "cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud".
I wish men would STOP the madness.

Lets begin.

1. Control your EYES before you approach me all "gentlemen" like: B/c you know that crap is a front. If you just assumed the role of "Chester the molester" with your eyes crawling all over my curvy goodness, what the hell makes you think that I view you as Kirk Franklin the minute you greet me? I saw you watching. Control your eyes.

2. Stop claiming that you are PAID, when you are really in the struggle like everyone else. The fact that you drive a Mercedes means NOTHING, when you address contains an APT. # in it. Priorities backwards bruh? Hmmmmm. Yeah, you're right. A woman wants a man whose independent with his own everything, including his own money. But...we also appreciate an HONEST hard working man, with his own everything. It doesnt REALLY matter how much he makes, as long as he's making an honest living and taking care of himself.

3.Build on your conversation. Most of y'all dont be talking about SH*T. Do I look like I have time to waste on DULL conversations? Every other sentence you're using your same generic response. "Oh okay..Cool...Thats wassup.." ; I (neutral face). Isnt it strange that everytime you call her, she has some sudden emergency to end the phone call after about the first two minutes? Nah its not strange, its the reality of BORING CONVERSATIONS. Read some books, buy Rosetta Stone,...or something!!!

4. Stop carrying WADS of money around. Bank account foreign to you? Or are you just fascinated with the ILLUSION of number 3. Just because you took all of your twenties and wrapped them around a bunch of ones does NOT fool the majority. In fact, if anything you look poorer than you PRETEND you're not, because your money isnt growing interest. Just pocket lint and some mo' ish. You look financially illiterate, and the ringless brother sitting at the table NEXT to you without a date, who pulls out his black VISA, is who YOUR date is now looking at. Smile.


5. Find clothes and wardrobe accessories that FIT your age. Notice I didn't say your body, but your age pa'tna. If your kids are old enough to give birth, a Celtics jersey and fitted cap should NOT be your every day attire. With age, your wardrobe should also mature. White tees and Nikes should not be your chosen outfit for the summer, when you are complaining about the rain making your muscles ache. C'mon now, in a few years your behind might need dentures, why are you investing in a mouth full of gold teeth at 35?


6. Stop wearing them FAKE *ss PRADAS. Maybe this is just something I see in the South, but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, I'd be HOT if I was the designer of Prada. I've seen dudes with those joints on, sole all DUSTY, as if they had been playing street ball on gravel. Quit playin!!!!! Pradas should never touch gravel. LOL Moving right along.....


7. Stop whispering in my ear, in club or bar atmospheres!!!! I cant HEAR YOU. Its like FIVE speakers behind us, but you wanna LEAN over and whisper sweet nothings in the mist of Jay Z blasting thru the speakers. This is NOT the place. Nonetheless, your breath stinks. Pop gum and wait until the club, bar, or whatever ENDS. Dueces


8. Stop buying rims when you really could use a transmission. Yeah you might be on 30's but the frame of your car looks like its on popsicle sticks, PLUS, you doing the JOOK at every light, because that mothersucker doesnt want to kick into gear. But you swear you're riding high though. Gotta question for the streets huuuuuuuh! (Plies voice) Who passed inspection?


9. Further your education. Like foreal. All jokes aside, my black men, you are all KINGS, but you cant reign any kingdoms when you dont know what MLA format is. Must I mention that you learned that as early as 10th grade, so dont give me any excuses about "college not being for you", because apparantly High School wasnt either. You are starting a record label, but your hands dont even know what a GED certificate feels like? C'mon son.


Last but not least.....

10. Be a REAL Father to your kids, before wanting another woman to call you daddy. I don't know about y'all, but its rare finding a brother without KIDS. Not saying its impossible, but it is definitely RARE (after 28 yrs old). NOW....although it is rare to find a kidless man, it is COMMON to run into a man who chases skirt tails like squirrels chase nuts. Now do you see my correlation? Men, please be a real father to your children. Not just a child support payer, a sperm donor, or a drop bye dad, but a HANDS on dad. Do that first. Then your chase wont seem so damn frantic. You do good..you get good. Become a father today!

Y'all know I love yall at the end of the day.
Gold TEEF, dishonest pick up lines, dusty Pradas and all...

but y'all annoy me on a good day.

Big up!

*snicker*

XoXo Chakara

The Love Assassination

-says the single lady who stays clear of men who may cause death of the only thing she has that pumps blood AND gives her the ability to FEEL.

HER heart.

Speaking from a woman's point of view, when we LOVE, we love hard. Its in our nature to love with our everything, because well....we rely on our emotions for everything. Our emotions sometimes serve as our guidance, and although this may seem like a weak admittal.....its our strength in a lot of ways.

A woman's love is so pure and STRONG that without the nuturing and warm embrace of a MOTHER, infants would die. Hmmph. Take that.

(lol)

Our emotions serve as our strength as well as our weakness.

Our emotions are what we rely on when all else fails.

This is why we are vital pieces of this planet.

Without emotion guided creatures by nature, this world would be COLD

Antartic COLD.

Catch that lol.

I created this blog because so many times, love hurts, and women need that WARNING sign placed in front of them year round.

This blog serves as a detour from that agonizing pain you will experience if you do not feel for whats in front of you before indulging.

Choose carefully.

You don't want that hurt.

That uncontrollable hurt.

That hurt that leaves you daydreaming of "what could have been", beating yourself up with "why me's" , and committing the crazy crimes of "serial calling and texing."

Ladies who have been in breakups they couldnt really control, should definitely understand this feeling.

A woman who slides all of her chips on to the playing table, and gets them all taken away by her love opponent.

Its a man's nature to block emotion. During bad breakups, women often wonder why they're not getting the response they really want from the man who broke their heart.

We would really like for the accused, or "box-cutter" of the relationship", to say.."Baby, I'm sorry. I love you. Let's work it out."

BUT

Normally that doesn't happen. I mean a dog will commit a DOG act, and carry out his mutty role until the end.

And well...usually when we do get those types of mushy submissions...we don't really want them.

We have this thing with wanting something RARE from a man, because its gives us the EMOTION of feeling special.

We appreciate it because we know that he wouldn't normally react that way.

Yeah I know....

Yeah we are confusing creatures.

Dont ask.

As women, we want things from certain men that we just will not get.

Thats what you call unrealistic LOVE.

Its not realistic for love to survive, in the midst of tainted trust and a combustion of lies.

Its not realistic for love to cause relentless tears and vocal cord straining screams of "why?"

Its not realistic for love to make one unbalanced in life, deflecting them from everyday life duties.

Its not realistic to love someone before loving your damn self.

You will become assassinated by this unrealistic type of love.

It might be one of those bloody spills type too.

BE AWARE.

If he ACTS like he's capable of HURTING YOU.

He will.

If he ACTS like your feeling dont matter to him.

They dont.

If he TELLS YOU he doesnt love you.

He doesnt.

Simple.

Dont become....

ASSASSINATED BY LOVE.

Step wisely.

XOXO CHAKARA

The Life's Gamble Series--The Connection Between "Life's Gamble & Hard Dreams"

Now, this is an informative yet informal blog post.
I am a new author and I'm releasing the second part of my Life's Gamble Series, entitled "Hard Dreams".
I actually released the original story, targeted at young mature women, who maybe just finding themselves at the start of a new beginning.

When I was 24 I was finding myself feeling too old for certain bad decision making. I believe that women go thru massive changes or shifts in maturity. So many of the changes bring buckoo amounts of stress. From talking with lots of women, my age, they shedded their key destructive immaturity around...average twenty three (twenty-four) years of age.

I thought my readers would understand the many situations, we encounter as young women, forcing us to make new and scary decisions. Life's Gamble, is told by two best friends, of different wealth classes, who reunite after five years, while both go thru relationship changes contaminated with lots of evil.

Fallon Stevens, 24, comes from a rougher side of the tracks. Government housing, crack addicted parents, an exhausted grandmother guardian, a ruthless young brother, and a drug dealing baby's father make up her past days. In Life's Gamble she thirsts for a quench of sanity,after bringing a life into this world and running from her past.

Regina, her best friend, from the lengthy acres of North Raleigh, NC, comes from a high pedestal held by her secure and wealthy parents. She indulges into a world that they would forbid....IF...they only knew what her "college life" consisted of.

One friend cries out for help and the other a forgives their past squabble and places out a helping hand. You have to read to find out which one.

When I tell you this places you on the front row of the audience, surround sound, it does the job. I'm not just bragging on my work, but "Life's Gamble" has been described as been a page turner from page 1 (Read chapter 1 in my notes on facebook).

It's an upbeat suspense tale of two best friends who gamble with their lives, while trying to hold on to something very dear to them. In Fallon's case its her sanity and safety of her child, and in Regina's case its her reputation and her life from crumbling.
This book as mind blowing turns and very disturbing info inside of it.
I use this book to shed light on HIV/AIDS as well. (hint hint)
Go and buy it on amazon right now if you want. (SN: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0615327605/ref=cm_sw_su_dp)

Anywhoo.
Hard Dreams is a REWIND, for my readers. A lot of my readers became intrigued in two of my favorite characters of "Life's Gamble".

1.) Fallon, who was one of the story tellers in "Life's Gamble", and 2.) Jersey, who was her vicious child's father who plays a huge part in Life's Gamble (but didn't get to tell the story).

My readers wanted to know about Fallon and Jersey's life before "Life's Gamble" took place. Remember, in "Life's Gamble" Fallon is trying to escape her past. I reel you in with a terrifying home invasion scened, experienced by the young pregnant Fallon and Jersey.
My readers wanted to know what Fallon's past was like.
So, that is just what Hard Dreams delivers.

The young Fallon, 20 and young Jersey,23 both tell the story. Its a young love tale in the fast lane of drugs, crime, infidelity, and abuse.

Its told by Fallon, and the one character my readers have been waiting to hear from, Jersey Squires.

Yes, as a FEMALE author, I assume the position of this vicious, murderous, controlling, dictating, drug dealing, thug of a man, who chases poor Fallon, in "Life's Gamble" away from her old self.

And dammit...

I do a hell of a job lol.
Yes, Jeresy speaks in "Hard Dreams", and three things I can say about him would be:

1.) He is arrogant
2.) He is wealthy
3.) He loves sex

Thats what Hard Dreams does. It really brings a rare uncut "street" to "urban erotica", with a down south spin to it. This book is very R rated. It contains alot of sex. Alot of sex.
Its hard but there are spontaneous sex scenes.
The young Jersey has a prostitute ring down in Florida. Four "bad b*tches" so he says.
Yes, all in Hard Dreams.

So there will be a part three.....YOU GOTTA READ LIFE"S GAMBLE FIRST...NO MATTER WHAT.

1. Life's Gamble
2. Hard Dreams
3. The crave part III lol (for a minute, then I'll hit yall off )

Please ask questions..I will answer them.

Sorry it took so long to explain this. Thanks alot : )

XOXO Chakara

My Top Ten Most Annoying Facebook Posters

Facebook is the way of today's hustle and everyday communication with those we don't see face to face. (well at least from what I see day to day). Those who use it might aim to promote or put something on the market, using the site as a tool.
Or
We might share our pictures, chop it up with the friend from elementary school (in which you haven't seen in a decade), or share a note or whatever (lol).

But we all see those annoying *ss posts, that make us say....."aw shut the hell up would ja?"
Now no offense, cause on a bad week I might end up in one of these categories myself. Personally, I try to sprinkle a couple in together, so that I don't annoy someone else lol. This is all in fun, and simply shows the moods we get in and create names for ......well...... folks who just annoy the hell out of us.

Tonight I present to you Chaka-Talk's Top Ten Annoying Facebook Posters.


1. The Single-Sunday, Married-Monday, Complicated-Tuesday Poster Now I have two types of these to address. The kid poster (18 under) and the adult poster (18+).
KID...if you don't get a book on your mind you will end up like Octamom without the paparazzi. Fallback. You are not even old enough to get married, yet you change your facebook status as if your mother conducts weddings in the backyard.
Fall Back.
Get something on your mind that will bring you a fruitful future. All you pretty much have right now is time. Alot of time it, especially if you use it wisely.
If not...remember Octamom minus contracts and paparazzi.
ADULT......fire whoever got you going crazy like Usher or get some sex and shut the heck up. Nonetheless who are you alerting or reminding?
Yourself?


2. The "I Got So Many Haters, So I'mma Let That Be Known Everyday" Poster. First off, question: Are they hating on how much web time you gettin in? Because you've always screamed you have haters, but you never provide any substantial evidence of anything to be hated on. Nonetheless, do you have any other conversation besides what everyone else thinks of you? Now please understand that there are some people who are really hated on, and every now and again, a hater may have to be addressed.
Maybe.
I'll give myself a day for that frustration.
A post.
Maybe.
But....not every day for breakfast lunch and dinner posting.

3. The Angry Dirty Mouth Poster.
You are so mad that you log on to the internet to spazz out.
Everyday.?
Thats gangsta homiie!!! *daps fakeout/Bruce Lee slap*
Stop that shaaaaaaat! LOL
What are you fighting with??? The keys???? The mouse????
Yaaaaaaaaaaaah trick Yaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Get your frustrations out. Do that. Soulja Boy's joint. It works for me.


4.The Non-Spelling Poster.
Waht did oUY Jsut Say?
Just log off, cause if you log on here once more, trying to thank the Lord in cavemen letters I'm canceling my account.
On a bad day, I have at it.
I curse myself out. Why is he/she gettin online with that bs today!!???
lol. Dictionary.com. Pull up another internet window if need be. Rely on it, heavily,
Until you learn to spell you need not come on facebook.
End.

5.The Undefeated Champion In-Boxers.
These mofos will give me thirty notifications in ten minutes.
Facebook won't even operate that fast!!
Somebody please tell me how Charlie Chocolate can send me thirty personal inbox messages promoting Hershey trafficking in five minutes?
I cant even get to the messages in my inbox without having to delete one hundred repetitive messages.
Quit playin!! Ugh!!!

6.The Happy Poster.
Smile.
Matter fact, you should already be smiling. Every post for you is a happy one.
Its a d*mn tornado in your county, the complex next to yours is blowing shreds right now!
But....
you're happy!
"Its just me and myself and I'm loving life and it feels so good. So what if my cat just got picked up in the tornado, I'm smiling! Happy Happy Happy!!!"
; I <<<< (my neutral face) We get it. Ugh.

7. The Twitter Poster.
Twitter.com...dueces!!
I understand that they all connect now but ugh. LOL
I personally don't like twitter, but "#@Dre1983 Yeah mane" is not necessarily some ish that makes sense to me.
As I scroll down my home page.
We facebookin over here, y'all are set trippin.

8.The Inappropriate Facebook Tagger.
Why do I want to see a video file of Cheaters?
Get that spam crap off of my paaaaaaaaaaaage! lol Chill Bill...sheesh! You tagged fifty people so, all afternoon, I'll get notifications of what they all said.
Why did you tag me in a picture of you in the mirror?
Hmmmmmmm.
Remove tag is such a wonderful option.
I encourage you to use it.

9. The Long *ssed Nickname Poster. Why did you have to add the rest of your name in a note because you couldnt fit all the letters in your info line, then tag me?
: I
Kenneth "ButwhenIgetrightdo'errybodygonehate" Adams you need ur behind whooped.
LOL. Folks giving their bill frustrations in their names.
Stop playing yourself.
Either keep your alias short and simple or use the name your mama gave you.
Ugh.
Kisha "ImnotgoingouttotheclubanymorecauseImsavednow" Jenkins.
Chilleee Chill.....like Beans says. Yikes.


And Last....but not least.....

10. The You Tube DJ Poster.
I believe you set your alarm everyday for 6am, to jump you bamma behind online and play songs all day thru the expense of YouTube, sharing the files to your lovely friends.
Are you a bot?
Have you been spammed?
Do you have a radio?
Or just the common decency to know I don't know what songs came out in 1960? I don't know if anyone actively on facebook does. Not to mention, I don't want to see them posted all day.
*Growls*
LOL Love you too!


Ha!

Currently, other posters applications are up for review. Processing time make take how ever long I feel like it. Please feel free to voice your concerns at yeahright@gmail.com
Smooches!

XoXo
Chakara