Whatup Bloggies!
Hope all is well with you!
Now today's blog should not be taken as a discouraging one. Instead, I challenge you to take it as an "informative" one. I mean..hey...someone's gotta tell ya right?
I mean, I always thought I had a nice layup on the court..but hell..everybody can't be a ball player. I just put together some things that I felt needed to be put out there, because I'm a firm believer of your destiny. And well....Everybody can't BE what the hell they feel they want to be. I mean yeah, I'm no dream killer, but enough is enough.
First off.
Everybody cant be...
1. A drug dealer: All the kilos and things being talked about dont add up out here. I mean if an ignorant person didnt know any better, the hood would seem equivalent to Mexico with how much illegal drugs everybody has. You know? Y'all heard'em--" Ten five for the.." Dude #C'monson. YOu aint never seen Ten five (10,500)outside of backed taxes or child support payments. Lil "Middle of the Mall" chain dangling...so now you are worth a mill, selling grams. Come on, everybody can't be a drug dealer. Have you seen these federal indictments floating around. The snitches are not going to let you live for one. Then, you starting out twenty years after the prime of crack cocaine. Talmbout: One day I'mma be rich. Yeah, canteen rich. You might run the yard. Sell a couple flips of oatmeal pies...buterah thats it.
2. A model: Now I know your mama'em told you that you were cute. Hell, you might be. But everybody is not fit to be America's next top model. First off, just because you have a facebook account, a digital camera, and a bathroom mirror, DOES NOT MEAN that you should just label yourself the next Lola Love. A real model is confident in herself and will sit back and reap the expected compliments. An unreal model will tag the shit outta all of her facebook friends on her photoshoot done by "Lord Knows Who" praying for that confidence she's always looked for. Not to shoot anyone's dreams down, but a model is not just a pretty face, or a big butt. Cut it out.
3. A party promoter: First of all the club owners dont like doing business with you, because your parties are normally #Flopic. Y'all know the parties where you know things are crazy because there is mad parking. Then the promoter is outside pacing the parking lot, praying that folks start coming. The security officers outside slap boxing each other, trying to holler at the lil females who do show up. Why? Cause they dont have nothing else to do. Nothing needs to be secured because no one is in the club. But yet you wanna be a promoter. In the slammer one week, trying to recoup bond money with a party with a dumb ass theme. LOL Okay Im done.
4. A writer: I looooooooove my self published family. I do. I love my published authors as well. But..if i get tagged "ONE MORE 'GAIN" by someone who miss spells constantly four letter words...I will throw a book at my screen. Nowadays there is this thing called SPELL CHECK. Damn, couldja get familiar? I mean for the love of all of Dr. Suess's books. Get familiar. Its not to say that you dont have the "imagination" prospect of writing fiction together. But here you are, tagging ME, legends like (Author K'won and others) for us to see this maddness.
5. A rapper: First of all your beats suck. Let me get that out the way. LOL Every hot rapper needs a good beat maker. Then normally there are other things you probably want to accomplish first like "gaining INCOME". I mean how do you think you're going to fund your marketing aspect of becoming a lucrative artist? You gotta invest in yourself. Whether is studio time, beats, showcase entry fees, etc. Get some type of income. Being a rapper does not pay the bills. I mean selling cd's for 5 dollars might make you grocery money. MIGHT. Food kind of high, while you be-boxin' Shoooot. It might get you gas money for the week. Plus, you can never get rich by trappin your cds in your local neighborhood. Try another state. Go elsewhwere. Share your talent. I promise you'll never get discovered doing local stuff.
6.A Hair Stylist: Listen here. If you find yourself with no clientele or no returning customers. You might be who I'm talking to. If the look on the person's face you spin around to the mirror looks like a "Maybe", then you might be who I'm talking to. If you get constant calls during the week from folks you've traumatized with your lil "Eddie Griffin on the side" hairdoos....stuff like "My track came out, My curls fell, My roots are kinky in the middle still", then you might need to hang it up. I don't give a damn how many years of school you had. Everybody is not fit to be a hairstylist. Just because the imaginative voice coming from Ken told you that Barbie's hair was the ish, didnt mean you should have enrolled into Beauty School. Try something else like....Knitting *shrug*
7. A Barber: If it takes your ass a whole hour to cut hair, please let the damn clippers go. Dudes dont have all day. Folks son's don't have all day. Thats the simplicity of being a male; not having to sit in a salon all day. Its a busy Saturday and you cut 4 dude's heads. Consider another career. I mean come on. By the time you finish his edges, dude's sideburns have grown back. Time is valuable, and folks don't have all Saturday messing with you. Then you were supposed to give a dude a caesar, but you didnt get all the hair off his nape. So now, he's rocking the Theo Huxtable shag in the back.
8. The Church Choir Lead: The idea of a church choir lead is to get the Holy Spirit moving in the room, not kill the Holy Spirit. Everybody know when you're about to sing, cause kids start whispering, Ms. Mae starts fanning her fan harder and making that "stink" frown. Everybody looking around at everybody trying to see everyone else's reaction. The preacher all of a sudden needs more water. I mean hang it up boo boo. Its okay to hit the other group of Alto's and just sway in the back. That way, if you crack any glass, folks can blame it on whoever. Not just you.
This announcement has been brought to you by Chakara's Book of What Not To Be When You Grow Up.
Have a blessed day :)
XoXo Chakara
