Time and time again, I hear and witness the same redundant break-up stories, over the same UNIDENTIFIABLE BREEDS, aka MUTTS.
The reason I call them mutts are easy. All men display DOG characteristics...and thats okay. They just need to be trained on whats okay and whats not okay in front of their owners. Ladies can I get an AMEN on that? Cause y'all know when they're with the homies, somethings will fly from their mouths, that you wouldn't easily tolerate. But thats okay.
We understand.
But anywhoo.
Today's blog post is for this crucial contagious epidemic, that has basically trickled down to us females, who've laid down with dogs for so long, that they have become MUTTS too.
All of the dudes she's ever been with have been mutts, so predictably now she's doing ass backwards stuff too. And unfortunately, she looks TEN TIMES worse, because she's a woman.
Today I list the common MUTT behavior, coming from a lifetime of dealing with NO GOOD MEN AKA MUTTS.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #1----------Why are you calling the phones of people you dont know, attempting to question that unknown person about your MUTT?
---Do you realize how dumb you sound when you can't even provide a name after "Can I speak with ______?" You've been going through these mysterious phone call episodes with your man for five years now, and you feel as though the woman who may and may not even be seeing your man owes you some type of explanation? You have'nt gotten any explanations from Leroy in the past five years. STOP PLAYING YOURSELF.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #2-----------Stop grilling every woman who looks better than you, when you are with your MUTT.
First off, any look besides a pleasant one, normally looks a hot mess. Fix your face. If he's going to cheat, he will cheat. Not one growl of yours is going to stop your mutt from wondering off. The least thing you could do, would be to LOOK like something. Erase the "what you talkin bout WILLIS" look in Harris Teeter, damn.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #3-------------Stop running up on your man in social settings, because he's talking to another woman.
You don't know what the hell they are talking about, yet you run up an interupt. I hope the next time you run up, someone has a drink dangling and mid air and you run into it. I hate hate hate! when females do this. I do alot of business in the social atmosphere, and I talk to alot of men. You can always tell his mutt from a distance, because she's staring at you atleast ten minutes before you notice her. PLUS, she can't even enjoy herself, because she's too busy trying to be in seeing distance of her man. C'mon son.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #4------------------Stop threatening to cheat, because you believe that he's cheating on you.
How do you look? Is subjecting yourself to disease and other disgust, by up-ping your sexual partners, REALLY a comeback? LMBO
MUTT BEHAVIOR #5----------------------Stop having babies by the mutt. It's not going to change him.
He's been cheating on you for your entire relationship, but somewhere or another you felt like having a baby might put his cheating at a holt. B*tch please. Now, not only are you hollering at him every night, you got five hollering kids hollering at YOU BOTH. Try a birth control method besides swallowing. Sheesh!
MUTT BEHAVIOR #6----------------------Stop sitting in circles with girls, talking about how much "He aint sh*t".
Obviously, he's something for yall to be talking about him for the past two hours on the phone. You and her both laughing at the things both of your men do, but then let the sun go down, and the same dude who wasn't sh*t before is laying in your bed. SHUT UP.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #7-------------------------Stop riding by every place you think he may be, when he's not answering his phone for you.
First off, you have no badge. You can't be jumping out like the police in the summertime, with no vest. You don't know what you may run up on, and that's real. You ever heard of the phrase, "Don't go looking for trouble". Now, you sitting somewhere looking like a ninja with a weave, waiting on your MUTT to pop up. How you look holmes?
MUTT BEHAVIOR #8----------------------------Stop sleeping with him unprotected if you know that he's cheating.
Black women are at the top of the list of the newly diagnosed of HIV. I wonder why. Stop being so naive. If you had intuition for the past YEAR that he's cheating, HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you continue to lay down with him. Do you not value your life enough to ask his suspect *ss to wrap it up????? C'mon man.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #9-----------------------------Stop expecting a MUTT to raise your son into a MAN.
If you gotta push your kids out the door with him, maybe he's not connecting with them enough. Stop putting these creatures in the postition of being role models to the kids YOU gave birth to. If they're his, and he's not acting accordingly (like a father), stop forcing it on him because you are too stupid to leave him alone. Must the kids endure such nonsense as well??? Damn.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
MUTT BEHAVIOR #10-------------------------------Stop taking his MONEY and accepting it as a PEACE TREATIE for him f*cking up time after time.
I see females brag all the time about the sorry dude whose sleeping around, and everyone knows it. They like to throw stuff out there all the time like "I'm the baby mama, He paid MY rent, he paid MY light bill, he paid for MY hair to get done."
AND?
So what? A tight sew in doesnt look to good with chlamydia burning in your crotch. You sound STUPID. So stop being so dependent on the MUTT.
Whoops. I forgot you are one now.
Woof Woof Woof.
Buzzards
XoXo
Chakara
The reason I call them mutts are easy. All men display DOG characteristics...and thats okay. They just need to be trained on whats okay and whats not okay in front of their owners. Ladies can I get an AMEN on that? Cause y'all know when they're with the homies, somethings will fly from their mouths, that you wouldn't easily tolerate. But thats okay.
We understand.
But anywhoo.
Today's blog post is for this crucial contagious epidemic, that has basically trickled down to us females, who've laid down with dogs for so long, that they have become MUTTS too.
All of the dudes she's ever been with have been mutts, so predictably now she's doing ass backwards stuff too. And unfortunately, she looks TEN TIMES worse, because she's a woman.
Today I list the common MUTT behavior, coming from a lifetime of dealing with NO GOOD MEN AKA MUTTS.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #1----------Why are you calling the phones of people you dont know, attempting to question that unknown person about your MUTT?
---Do you realize how dumb you sound when you can't even provide a name after "Can I speak with ______?" You've been going through these mysterious phone call episodes with your man for five years now, and you feel as though the woman who may and may not even be seeing your man owes you some type of explanation? You have'nt gotten any explanations from Leroy in the past five years. STOP PLAYING YOURSELF.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #2-----------Stop grilling every woman who looks better than you, when you are with your MUTT.
First off, any look besides a pleasant one, normally looks a hot mess. Fix your face. If he's going to cheat, he will cheat. Not one growl of yours is going to stop your mutt from wondering off. The least thing you could do, would be to LOOK like something. Erase the "what you talkin bout WILLIS" look in Harris Teeter, damn.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #3-------------Stop running up on your man in social settings, because he's talking to another woman.
You don't know what the hell they are talking about, yet you run up an interupt. I hope the next time you run up, someone has a drink dangling and mid air and you run into it. I hate hate hate! when females do this. I do alot of business in the social atmosphere, and I talk to alot of men. You can always tell his mutt from a distance, because she's staring at you atleast ten minutes before you notice her. PLUS, she can't even enjoy herself, because she's too busy trying to be in seeing distance of her man. C'mon son.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #4------------------Stop threatening to cheat, because you believe that he's cheating on you.
How do you look? Is subjecting yourself to disease and other disgust, by up-ping your sexual partners, REALLY a comeback? LMBO
MUTT BEHAVIOR #5----------------------Stop having babies by the mutt. It's not going to change him.
He's been cheating on you for your entire relationship, but somewhere or another you felt like having a baby might put his cheating at a holt. B*tch please. Now, not only are you hollering at him every night, you got five hollering kids hollering at YOU BOTH. Try a birth control method besides swallowing. Sheesh!
MUTT BEHAVIOR #6----------------------Stop sitting in circles with girls, talking about how much "He aint sh*t".
Obviously, he's something for yall to be talking about him for the past two hours on the phone. You and her both laughing at the things both of your men do, but then let the sun go down, and the same dude who wasn't sh*t before is laying in your bed. SHUT UP.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #7-------------------------Stop riding by every place you think he may be, when he's not answering his phone for you.
First off, you have no badge. You can't be jumping out like the police in the summertime, with no vest. You don't know what you may run up on, and that's real. You ever heard of the phrase, "Don't go looking for trouble". Now, you sitting somewhere looking like a ninja with a weave, waiting on your MUTT to pop up. How you look holmes?
MUTT BEHAVIOR #8----------------------------Stop sleeping with him unprotected if you know that he's cheating.
Black women are at the top of the list of the newly diagnosed of HIV. I wonder why. Stop being so naive. If you had intuition for the past YEAR that he's cheating, HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you continue to lay down with him. Do you not value your life enough to ask his suspect *ss to wrap it up????? C'mon man.
MUTT BEHAVIOR #9-----------------------------Stop expecting a MUTT to raise your son into a MAN.
If you gotta push your kids out the door with him, maybe he's not connecting with them enough. Stop putting these creatures in the postition of being role models to the kids YOU gave birth to. If they're his, and he's not acting accordingly (like a father), stop forcing it on him because you are too stupid to leave him alone. Must the kids endure such nonsense as well??? Damn.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
MUTT BEHAVIOR #10-------------------------------Stop taking his MONEY and accepting it as a PEACE TREATIE for him f*cking up time after time.
I see females brag all the time about the sorry dude whose sleeping around, and everyone knows it. They like to throw stuff out there all the time like "I'm the baby mama, He paid MY rent, he paid MY light bill, he paid for MY hair to get done."
AND?
So what? A tight sew in doesnt look to good with chlamydia burning in your crotch. You sound STUPID. So stop being so dependent on the MUTT.
Whoops. I forgot you are one now.
Woof Woof Woof.
Buzzards
XoXo
Chakara
LLS... so real. What's really funny though... how a female will go through this for soo many years with one 'mutt', finally get enough business about herself to leave him alone, then fall right back in same pattern with the next one. Now I have no shame and will admit that some of these things I had to learn the extra hard way, but I learned from my mistakes!
ReplyDeletePreach! Honestly, as with everything else in life, we live and learn when it comes to men (well at least some of us learn.) As we get older and wiser, we realize that regardless of what ridiculous and embarrassing tactics we employ, a woman can NOT keep a man that doesn't want to be kept.
ReplyDeleteits true! no one wants a girl like that! but then again, no girl should have to deal with a guy like that. i see it all the time, all these girls im friends with will say "i just broke up with my boyfriend =(" and you look at the guy and im like "well look who you were dating! he was an asshole" and they say "well i know but the assholes are so cute" im like really? then don't complain!
ReplyDelete