Now,
Maybe I will never get married, and I'm okay with that.
I'll marry my money.
They're presidents anyways. (hmph.)
But...
Time and time again I become annoyed by the BASIC sh*t men do, in their act of trying to catch on the playing field.
I really don't like doing lists, because for me, they like never end.
This one especially.
Like Deejay Lil Bee says "cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud".
I wish men would STOP the madness.
Lets begin.
1. Control your EYES before you approach me all "gentlemen" like: B/c you know that crap is a front. If you just assumed the role of "Chester the molester" with your eyes crawling all over my curvy goodness, what the hell makes you think that I view you as Kirk Franklin the minute you greet me? I saw you watching. Control your eyes.
2. Stop claiming that you are PAID, when you are really in the struggle like everyone else. The fact that you drive a Mercedes means NOTHING, when you address contains an APT. # in it. Priorities backwards bruh? Hmmmmm. Yeah, you're right. A woman wants a man whose independent with his own everything, including his own money. But...we also appreciate an HONEST hard working man, with his own everything. It doesnt REALLY matter how much he makes, as long as he's making an honest living and taking care of himself.
3.Build on your conversation. Most of y'all dont be talking about SH*T. Do I look like I have time to waste on DULL conversations? Every other sentence you're using your same generic response. "Oh okay..Cool...Thats wassup.." ; I (neutral face). Isnt it strange that everytime you call her, she has some sudden emergency to end the phone call after about the first two minutes? Nah its not strange, its the reality of BORING CONVERSATIONS. Read some books, buy Rosetta Stone,...or something!!!
4. Stop carrying WADS of money around. Bank account foreign to you? Or are you just fascinated with the ILLUSION of number 3. Just because you took all of your twenties and wrapped them around a bunch of ones does NOT fool the majority. In fact, if anything you look poorer than you PRETEND you're not, because your money isnt growing interest. Just pocket lint and some mo' ish. You look financially illiterate, and the ringless brother sitting at the table NEXT to you without a date, who pulls out his black VISA, is who YOUR date is now looking at. Smile.
5. Find clothes and wardrobe accessories that FIT your age. Notice I didn't say your body, but your age pa'tna. If your kids are old enough to give birth, a Celtics jersey and fitted cap should NOT be your every day attire. With age, your wardrobe should also mature. White tees and Nikes should not be your chosen outfit for the summer, when you are complaining about the rain making your muscles ache. C'mon now, in a few years your behind might need dentures, why are you investing in a mouth full of gold teeth at 35?
6. Stop wearing them FAKE *ss PRADAS. Maybe this is just something I see in the South, but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, I'd be HOT if I was the designer of Prada. I've seen dudes with those joints on, sole all DUSTY, as if they had been playing street ball on gravel. Quit playin!!!!! Pradas should never touch gravel. LOL Moving right along.....
7. Stop whispering in my ear, in club or bar atmospheres!!!! I cant HEAR YOU. Its like FIVE speakers behind us, but you wanna LEAN over and whisper sweet nothings in the mist of Jay Z blasting thru the speakers. This is NOT the place. Nonetheless, your breath stinks. Pop gum and wait until the club, bar, or whatever ENDS. Dueces
8. Stop buying rims when you really could use a transmission. Yeah you might be on 30's but the frame of your car looks like its on popsicle sticks, PLUS, you doing the JOOK at every light, because that mothersucker doesnt want to kick into gear. But you swear you're riding high though. Gotta question for the streets huuuuuuuh! (Plies voice) Who passed inspection?
9. Further your education. Like foreal. All jokes aside, my black men, you are all KINGS, but you cant reign any kingdoms when you dont know what MLA format is. Must I mention that you learned that as early as 10th grade, so dont give me any excuses about "college not being for you", because apparantly High School wasnt either. You are starting a record label, but your hands dont even know what a GED certificate feels like? C'mon son.
Last but not least.....
10. Be a REAL Father to your kids, before wanting another woman to call you daddy. I don't know about y'all, but its rare finding a brother without KIDS. Not saying its impossible, but it is definitely RARE (after 28 yrs old). NOW....although it is rare to find a kidless man, it is COMMON to run into a man who chases skirt tails like squirrels chase nuts. Now do you see my correlation? Men, please be a real father to your children. Not just a child support payer, a sperm donor, or a drop bye dad, but a HANDS on dad. Do that first. Then your chase wont seem so damn frantic. You do good..you get good. Become a father today!
Y'all know I love yall at the end of the day.
Gold TEEF, dishonest pick up lines, dusty Pradas and all...
but y'all annoy me on a good day.
Big up!
*snicker*
XoXo Chakara
Maybe I will never get married, and I'm okay with that.
I'll marry my money.
They're presidents anyways. (hmph.)
But...
Time and time again I become annoyed by the BASIC sh*t men do, in their act of trying to catch on the playing field.
I really don't like doing lists, because for me, they like never end.
This one especially.
Like Deejay Lil Bee says "cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud".
I wish men would STOP the madness.
Lets begin.
1. Control your EYES before you approach me all "gentlemen" like: B/c you know that crap is a front. If you just assumed the role of "Chester the molester" with your eyes crawling all over my curvy goodness, what the hell makes you think that I view you as Kirk Franklin the minute you greet me? I saw you watching. Control your eyes.
2. Stop claiming that you are PAID, when you are really in the struggle like everyone else. The fact that you drive a Mercedes means NOTHING, when you address contains an APT. # in it. Priorities backwards bruh? Hmmmmm. Yeah, you're right. A woman wants a man whose independent with his own everything, including his own money. But...we also appreciate an HONEST hard working man, with his own everything. It doesnt REALLY matter how much he makes, as long as he's making an honest living and taking care of himself.
3.Build on your conversation. Most of y'all dont be talking about SH*T. Do I look like I have time to waste on DULL conversations? Every other sentence you're using your same generic response. "Oh okay..Cool...Thats wassup.." ; I (neutral face). Isnt it strange that everytime you call her, she has some sudden emergency to end the phone call after about the first two minutes? Nah its not strange, its the reality of BORING CONVERSATIONS. Read some books, buy Rosetta Stone,...or something!!!
4. Stop carrying WADS of money around. Bank account foreign to you? Or are you just fascinated with the ILLUSION of number 3. Just because you took all of your twenties and wrapped them around a bunch of ones does NOT fool the majority. In fact, if anything you look poorer than you PRETEND you're not, because your money isnt growing interest. Just pocket lint and some mo' ish. You look financially illiterate, and the ringless brother sitting at the table NEXT to you without a date, who pulls out his black VISA, is who YOUR date is now looking at. Smile.
5. Find clothes and wardrobe accessories that FIT your age. Notice I didn't say your body, but your age pa'tna. If your kids are old enough to give birth, a Celtics jersey and fitted cap should NOT be your every day attire. With age, your wardrobe should also mature. White tees and Nikes should not be your chosen outfit for the summer, when you are complaining about the rain making your muscles ache. C'mon now, in a few years your behind might need dentures, why are you investing in a mouth full of gold teeth at 35?
6. Stop wearing them FAKE *ss PRADAS. Maybe this is just something I see in the South, but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, I'd be HOT if I was the designer of Prada. I've seen dudes with those joints on, sole all DUSTY, as if they had been playing street ball on gravel. Quit playin!!!!! Pradas should never touch gravel. LOL Moving right along.....
7. Stop whispering in my ear, in club or bar atmospheres!!!! I cant HEAR YOU. Its like FIVE speakers behind us, but you wanna LEAN over and whisper sweet nothings in the mist of Jay Z blasting thru the speakers. This is NOT the place. Nonetheless, your breath stinks. Pop gum and wait until the club, bar, or whatever ENDS. Dueces
8. Stop buying rims when you really could use a transmission. Yeah you might be on 30's but the frame of your car looks like its on popsicle sticks, PLUS, you doing the JOOK at every light, because that mothersucker doesnt want to kick into gear. But you swear you're riding high though. Gotta question for the streets huuuuuuuh! (Plies voice) Who passed inspection?
9. Further your education. Like foreal. All jokes aside, my black men, you are all KINGS, but you cant reign any kingdoms when you dont know what MLA format is. Must I mention that you learned that as early as 10th grade, so dont give me any excuses about "college not being for you", because apparantly High School wasnt either. You are starting a record label, but your hands dont even know what a GED certificate feels like? C'mon son.
Last but not least.....
10. Be a REAL Father to your kids, before wanting another woman to call you daddy. I don't know about y'all, but its rare finding a brother without KIDS. Not saying its impossible, but it is definitely RARE (after 28 yrs old). NOW....although it is rare to find a kidless man, it is COMMON to run into a man who chases skirt tails like squirrels chase nuts. Now do you see my correlation? Men, please be a real father to your children. Not just a child support payer, a sperm donor, or a drop bye dad, but a HANDS on dad. Do that first. Then your chase wont seem so damn frantic. You do good..you get good. Become a father today!
Y'all know I love yall at the end of the day.
Gold TEEF, dishonest pick up lines, dusty Pradas and all...
but y'all annoy me on a good day.
Big up!
*snicker*
XoXo Chakara
I read each and every one and I laughed because I can put either a friend or a cousin in each one.
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