"Everybody Can't Be......."

Whatup Bloggies!
Hope all is well with you!
Now today's blog should not be taken as a discouraging one. Instead, I challenge you to take it as an "informative" one. I mean..hey...someone's gotta tell ya right?
I mean, I always thought I had a nice layup on the court..but hell..everybody can't be a ball player. I just put together some things that I felt needed to be put out there, because I'm a firm believer of your destiny. And well....Everybody can't BE what the hell they feel they want to be. I mean yeah, I'm no dream killer, but enough is enough.

First off.

Everybody cant be...
1. A drug dealer: All the kilos and things being talked about dont add up out here. I mean if an ignorant person didnt know any better, the hood would seem equivalent to Mexico with how much illegal drugs everybody has. You know? Y'all heard'em--" Ten five for the.." Dude #C'monson. YOu aint never seen Ten five (10,500)outside of backed taxes or child support payments. Lil "Middle of the Mall" chain dangling...so now you are worth a mill, selling grams. Come on, everybody can't be a drug dealer. Have you seen these federal indictments floating around. The snitches are not going to let you live for one. Then, you starting out twenty years after the prime of crack cocaine. Talmbout: One day I'mma be rich. Yeah, canteen rich. You might run the yard. Sell a couple flips of oatmeal pies...buterah thats it.

2. A model: Now I know your mama'em told you that you were cute. Hell, you might be. But everybody is not fit to be America's next top model. First off, just because you have a facebook account, a digital camera, and a bathroom mirror, DOES NOT MEAN that you should just label yourself the next Lola Love. A real model is confident in herself and will sit back and reap the expected compliments. An unreal model will tag the shit outta all of her facebook friends on her photoshoot done by "Lord Knows Who" praying for that confidence she's always looked for. Not to shoot anyone's dreams down, but a model is not just a pretty face, or a big butt. Cut it out.

3. A party promoter: First of all the club owners dont like doing business with you, because your parties are normally #Flopic. Y'all know the parties where you know things are crazy because there is mad parking. Then the promoter is outside pacing the parking lot, praying that folks start coming. The security officers outside slap boxing each other, trying to holler at the lil females who do show up. Why? Cause they dont have nothing else to do. Nothing needs to be secured because no one is in the club. But yet you wanna be a promoter. In the slammer one week, trying to recoup bond money with a party with a dumb ass theme. LOL Okay Im done.

4. A writer: I looooooooove my self published family. I do. I love my published authors as well. But..if i get tagged "ONE MORE 'GAIN" by someone who miss spells constantly four letter words...I will throw a book at my screen. Nowadays there is this thing called SPELL CHECK. Damn, couldja get familiar? I mean for the love of all of Dr. Suess's books. Get familiar. Its not to say that you dont have the "imagination" prospect of writing fiction together. But here you are, tagging ME, legends like (Author K'won and others) for us to see this maddness.

5. A rapper: First of all your beats suck. Let me get that out the way. LOL Every hot rapper needs a good beat maker. Then normally there are other things you probably want to accomplish first like "gaining INCOME". I mean how do you think you're going to fund your marketing aspect of becoming a lucrative artist? You gotta invest in yourself. Whether is studio time, beats, showcase entry fees, etc. Get some type of income. Being a rapper does not pay the bills. I mean selling cd's for 5 dollars might make you grocery money. MIGHT. Food kind of high, while you be-boxin' Shoooot. It might get you gas money for the week. Plus, you can never get rich by trappin your cds in your local neighborhood. Try another state. Go elsewhwere. Share your talent. I promise you'll never get discovered doing local stuff.


6.A Hair Stylist: Listen here. If you find yourself with no clientele or no returning customers. You might be who I'm talking to. If the look on the person's face you spin around to the mirror looks like a "Maybe", then you might be who I'm talking to. If you get constant calls during the week from folks you've traumatized with your lil "Eddie Griffin on the side" hairdoos....stuff like "My track came out, My curls fell, My roots are kinky in the middle still", then you might need to hang it up. I don't give a damn how many years of school you had. Everybody is not fit to be a hairstylist. Just because the imaginative voice coming from Ken told you that Barbie's hair was the ish, didnt mean you should have enrolled into Beauty School. Try something else like....Knitting *shrug*


7. A Barber: If it takes your ass a whole hour to cut hair, please let the damn clippers go. Dudes dont have all day. Folks son's don't have all day. Thats the simplicity of being a male; not having to sit in a salon all day. Its a busy Saturday and you cut 4 dude's heads. Consider another career. I mean come on. By the time you finish his edges, dude's sideburns have grown back. Time is valuable, and folks don't have all Saturday messing with you. Then you were supposed to give a dude a caesar, but you didnt get all the hair off his nape. So now, he's rocking the Theo Huxtable shag in the back.


8. The Church Choir Lead: The idea of a church choir lead is to get the Holy Spirit moving in the room, not kill the Holy Spirit. Everybody know when you're about to sing, cause kids start whispering, Ms. Mae starts fanning her fan harder and making that "stink" frown. Everybody looking around at everybody trying to see everyone else's reaction. The preacher all of a sudden needs more water. I mean hang it up boo boo. Its okay to hit the other group of Alto's and just sway in the back. That way, if you crack any glass, folks can blame it on whoever. Not just you.



This announcement has been brought to you by Chakara's Book of What Not To Be When You Grow Up.

Have a blessed day :)


XoXo Chakara

Yeah, I'm talking to YOU.

Long time no hear from blog family.
Whatsup.
All that I can say is that my life has been abundantly filled with opportunities which has given me a truckload of work to do..So, thats where I'm at.

Now.

I have somethings to get off of my chest, because somewhere along this increase network, folks have forgotten that I started out in this *sh as a one man show and when its all over..I will still be that one creator.
Now, dont get it twisted...I return the love given, and I support those who support me with out a doubt...but if their is one thing I need folks to understand is that I owe you nothing.

I dont owe you a hi-five.
I dont owe you a "good job".
I dont owe you my network.
I dont owe you any kind gesture.
Cause check this out...I worked HARD to get where I am. Im no club promoter. I dont work for anyone else but MYSELF and if all this sh*t falls apart...I will be the only one able to piece it back together.

Some folks have been getting in their feelings about the things I've made in P.S.A.'s on either social site. That was the purpose though. So that it would hit home. Good. Glad you read it.
I love good work of others, and I also respect a person just as far as they respect me.

But when you start doing things that could possibly affect where I eat at..then we have problems. I'm just like a dog with my territory. I'll do whatever I need to do to keep it safe from harm. What you do on my turf reflects on me. Once you've branded yourself, you do what you must to protect that brand.

If you think that switching lanes will get you to the finish line faster than staying in your own and pacing ur moves..you're wrong. But I cant save you. You my friend have just fell victim to being the rabbit in the race. And, well we all know that ending. I will continue to build my skyscrapers alongside of my own narrow lane, that way my visitors will have a more trusting notion about me. A trusting network will always return.

When they visit my lane on this busy industry highway they will know what they're getting, without getting any flim flam or being hustled by another person selling cds when I sell books. Get the anaology?

So, with all of this said...I still LOVE with everything..those who've truly genuinely care for the work I do and have actually supported the work I've done. Those who think its all about them and wish for support without giving any..after you finish getting full off ya self, drink a cup of STFU.

Okay

#DUECES


-Chakara

Independent Women Excuse is a Dependent Man's Cop-Out

As I stand PROUD with my independent women swagga
Im here to remind folks
where the common tossed around phrase came from.
Thats right.
Women have picked up the necessary title of the "Independent Woman" because they decided to take care of their responsibilities no matter what. Applause for those women, because time waits for no man, and an empty hand hanging outward will not put food in ur babies mouths.
But, nowadays you have grown men screaming that women need to be independent, forgetting WHY in the heck the "woman" became independent in the first place. What some should really be asking is: Why did she become independent, and why am I so determined to pull me an independent one?

Well, by all means ladies: HANDLE ur business. After all, if you dont do it, then who will? See, I remember hearing about a time when the man brought in the bread and the woman took care of the household, and the child saw this example right inside of their homes, most importantly for the little men of the house.

I say for MOST who scream "INDEPENDENT WOMEN"--they're actually saying.."You need to have ur own, so that you don't ask for mine."

Is that REAAAAAAAAAALLY manly men? LOL
I mean like really. The definition of a REAL WOMAN has a "given" of independent qualities, but with yall screaming the ish to the rooftops as if you yearn for it, one would think that ur sorta dependent ur damn self.

There is no such thing as a dependent woman. Thats a girl.
Understand that?
Feel me?

So with your constant screaming of "I need me an independent woman", your own dependent status should be questioned.
After all, what are you afraid of?
Possibly picking up a woman who will ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING?
Ha!

Answer me this though.
What are the qualities of the breadwinning MAN? Hmmm? I love my brothas so black men, I'm going to pick with yall for a second.
I suppose that our creator didnt make you guys strong and manly for a woman to depend on huh?
I suppose that it makes it easier for you to have an independent woman, b.c. that way she wont even THINK to tamper with your belongings right?

The only people who have the right to scream "INDEPENDENT women" are the children who live in households with single mothers. That's right dammit. I said it.

You know I'm happy that I've found the one I want to be with and I swear he better continue to play his cards correctly. I'm often annoyed by the dollar signs in a man's eyes, once I tell them of only my accomplishments.

Even though I'm no where near the financial HEIGHT they probably assumed, the looks in their eyes tell me their gameplan QUICKLY. Sorry, I dont house nickels. I love men for what they are and thats REAL STRONG men.

Some men nowadays are almost glued to independent women, just as much as tricks are the trickin men. You follow me? Spoiled by the take off of this "independent women" take off. I call it the Baby Boy syndrome.
So watch those who scream that, and question his ability to be INDEPENDENT him damn self.

If his eyes turn green at the sight of a woman with her OWN everything---then he may be the equivalent of just what he's fearful of; a dependent woman.

See an independent woman will not ask him for things that may result in his own personal embarrassment because he actually lacks that "thing".

An independent woman will put him in a stutter-filled situation where he has to give provide an answer of GIVE her anything.

Naw. He's afraid of that woman.

Man............I tell you what

Lets not get so hung HO--(or whatever that saying is LOL) over an independent woman. And woman PEEP THE SIGNS.

Don't just shake and nod ur head at a man disclosing "I need me an independent woman" and smile proudly b.c. you are one

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Take a DEEP LOOK into that man's situation, especially if you've considered him. It could be a trap. He could be looking for a sponsor just as well as Tierra Marie, but he'll hide it.

Until he asks to borrow ur car while YOU are at work.
Okay I'm fooling but so serious.

Watchem (Esther eye)

XoXo
Chakara

You Can't Look Hard And#

Whatup blog fam!
Whew have I been swamped, but I had to find time to talk about the masculine attempts some men put on, under b*tch*ssedness radar. Thats right. Today's blog is simply a fill in the blank topic. Feel free to join me cause this mess has to stop.

You can't look hard and#........


1. You can't look hard and have the same color eyes as Barbie Doll. Walking with a limp and hollering at girls at the club, does not take away from the fact that your eyes match your Air Ones. All you're missing now, is some eyeliner and a good lip gloss. How U doing?


2. You can't look hard while sitting in child support court, for a past due balance of 20,000, promoting your club event in the courtroom lobby at break time. You might not even have 30 days FREE, in order to make your own club event. Throw some D's on that child support tab. Nothinig manly here guys.


3. You can't look hard while blasting music and throwing 24s on the MALIBU your girl is currently financing. I knew it was a reason that I only saw you between the hours of 9-5 riding through the hood. She's at work! LOL Whats hard about you havinig to leave your boys when you get that phone call or text: BRING ME MY CAR.


4. You can't look hard while swiping your girl's food stamp card in the grocery store line. LOL How you got plenty money, but when it comes to buying groceries, you gotta go borrow her card? LOL Its OTAYYYY, just stop trying to look so d*mnn gangsta when you pay for you Juicy Juice without taxes lol.


5. You can't look hard, while browsing the aisles of the beauty supply store; asking which aisle is the bonding glue on. LOL You done got talked into going into the beauty supply store to get some track glue for your girl, because (1) you have her car, and (2) you aint got no d*mn job. So you pretty much run errands for her when you have her ish. C'mon son.


6. You cant look hard while walking down the aisle to put money in the offering pot. LOL Yes, it is manly that you pay your tithes, but it doesn't require a limp to a beat, and both your nostrils flared up like Ice Cube. WWJD? lol


7. You can't look hard while being escorted out the club, AFTER getting beat up in a fight and snuffed QUICKLY by two bouncers. There is no more "umph!" in you bruh' Your good sense is still liable to be laying on the floor with your doorag and torn our dreadlocks lol. Fix your face!


8. You can't look hard while standing in the FREE line at the club, when the skip line is only 10.00. How you in the free line, thumbing thru your ones, worried about how you gone buy a girl a drink and yourself one. LOL Its 1:45 am, the bar closes at two. Don't come to the club with less than 20 dollars and getting crunk when Gucci comes on. LOL


9. You cant look hard while riding a scooter. I don't care if a gang of Bloods pull up in an all black SUV, and grill you like Debo did Smokey. LOL You can't look hard. Your knees are touching the handle bars, and your helmet doesn even match your bike. LOL Cut it out!


10. You can't look hard and take an order in the McDonald's drive-thru. You can lick your lips baby boy, flash your Iphone, or whatever. You cannot BE GANGSTA. I wont work lol. Now make sure you put ketchup in my bag next time, instead of tryin to flex your chain from Fashion Ave.


11. You can't look hard while filling up your gas can at the convenient store. LOL Nobody told you to buy an SUV in the middle of a recession, yet you carry around a gas can as your insurance. At the counter talmbout let me get 2.00 on pump 3 "Oh, and do you have a paper towel?" LOL Quit playin.



12. You can't look hard while walking into the STD Clinic. Maybe you walk with a twitch for some other reason. Hmmmph. Either or you are going into a place where your most prized "possessions" are going to be swabbed and fiddled with. What's gangsta about that?


13. You can't look hard while having internet beef on a library computer. First off, your window in the corner says you have 5 more minutes of online time. You cant type but so many "Blood B's" in that many minutes. Give it up! LOL Ole artificial gang members.

14. You can't look hard coming out of jail with no shoe strings in you shoes. LOL I know you just got out. "Locked up....they won't let me out" still playin in your head. But those Air Ones you were trapping in, when you got locked up are THROWN. They's singing "lock me up" and the tongues are hanging out, all crazy. LOL Put your shoe strings in then resume to being gangsta. LOL


15. And last but not least, you can't look hard and ask for extra sensitive condoms at the convenient store counter. Ole extra sensitive wanker having mug lol. LOL You cant look hard and cop these. You just can't. Then on top of that you requested the pink color. Get real!!




Its been fun. Now back to WORK. LOL I love this!


XoXo Chakara

##YOUR KID SHOULD FIRE YOU IF.....

NOW

Poor babies LOL
Y'all seen them.
Every now and again, I'll run across a child who is clearly caught up in some mess that their PARENT tried to "make work" in their situation.
Lil dude didn't have his swim trunks, so there he is in the swimming pool with some cut off shorts; one side cut high the other side dangling down by his knees.

Parents should be fiRED.

Today I list multiple situations where I, Chakara, would give a kid permission to fire a parent. lol



1. If you cut your son's HEAD, and instead of tapering the fade, you ROUND that joint out. So, now he has a complete "bowl" on the top of his head. You should be fired. Who cares that clippers were on sale at Walmart? Don't do that to him. Nine times out of ten the "bowl" portion of the cut is too darn small. Now he walking around looking like he has a dartboard at the top of his head. FIRED.


2. If your daughter's hair is short, its okay. I promise you it is, but all those d*mn barrettes and rubberbands will not make an illusion of it being longer. Why is she walking around looking like a X-mas tree by the head? I can not STAND seeing a little girl with ponytails the length of a newborn babies pink toe, with barrettes bigger than the "pig" tail itself, dangling from it. If she fell she could seriously jab her scalp with something. FIRED.


3. Now, everyone knows that as SOON as Jordans or some type of exclusive athletic shoe comes into play, you'll find that Walmart, Target, and other places will try to duplicate the shoe, in their own fashion. Why is it that your son has every pair of "duplicate" Jordans I-X?? LMBO. But you couldn't be simple and buy him a cheaper more NICELY PUT TOGETHER shoe. Nah, you think you gone pysch the whole school out, by putting him in the Michelle Jordan's from Walmart, and no one is going to say anything to dude? Yeah yeah yeah, I know that namebrands do not make a person. I buy my daughter offbrand stuff all the time, but its nothing that trying to imitate another major priced namebrand item. Its just simple, original, no name things. Stop making that boy get roasted in gym class. Its not fair!!!! FIRED.


4. Now this post is not for kids who live in Alaska; Antartica either (if their are any). But, listen here, this is North Carolina. There is no need for your daughter to have on a turtle neck, underneath a wool sweater, a tshirt, tights underneath her courdoroys, two pairs of socks, and a coat. Face VASELINE-D *ding* down. LMBO. Dont forget the toboggin and gloves. Our winters are NOT that serious. Poor child is sweating!!!!! I can't stand to see such. SN: My mother used to handle me like this. Then on top of that, I had cornrows that connected at the ends, so I looked like a Vietnamese Eskimo. Wow. FIRED!


5. Your child isn't skinny, so unfortunately he can't follow the skinny jean trend. Stop purchasing SLIMS for your son, who was once Lil John and now he's Big Red. Its a health risk, when he's at school trying to make it to class, but his skinny jeans have LOCKED right around his thigh area, and he's waddling to his classroom. No really. Then the child's butt is hanging over the top of the jeans. Stop it. Don't make him look stank like that. FIRED.


6. Nowadays if a child places a whole in his jeans, eh, I don't think that a patch is a good idea. LOL Y'all remember when your mom would iron a patch in your jeans? Well I'll be God darnit, I saw a young dude with a patch OVER his jeans. Dats right. His mother didn't even have the decency to but the green jointsINSIDE of his light blue jeans. She smacked them right on top of them. Now he look like he's repping the Go Green campaign by the knees. C'mon SON! Where did you find them patches anyways!!???!!!!!! I thought I wrote the president about them. LOL



7. Now this is for my special bunch. Some folks may have never experienced this sight, but if you are from NC, or anywhere of heavy hispanic decent...looka here. Ballroom gowns and soccer shoes don't go together during ANY POINT IN YOUR LIFE. The sad part is the little latino girls I've seen this on, are absolutely BEAUTIFUL, but they look like they came to the party in preparation to "dougie on the floor". Then the Addidas or whatever the shoe may be, are like "red dirt" filthy. Its like...what gives????? The dress has a vail (lmbo), some lace, glitter and stars, but get down to her feet and she World Cup-in it. LMBO. Come on now. FIRED.


8. Lil Johnny wants cornrows so bad, but his lil hair wont get out of that MATTED (aka notty as heck) phase. So, what DID YOU DO? You go and purchase this lil dude a RELAXER. Y'all have seen lil boys, teens with a relaxed texture in their head. Now, they wonder why their cornrows won't stay. The only folks with permission to wear perms are Al Sharpton, Snoop Dog, and Katt Williams. Anyone outside of those three, should be listed under "what NOT to look like". Your hair is going to break. Listen here. Unless you plan on shampooing and conditioning once a week, and maintaining HIS relaxed hair, don't set him up to look like Rick James. If his hair will not grow, then I dont know.....Cut it off? He's a boy d*mmit!


9. WEAVE that you would buy for your head, exists in the head of your child. Nuff Said. FIRED.


I'm going to cap it off at 10....b/c someone might be in their feelings about some of these lol

But....last and definitely not least.

10. Pulling one's socks UP does not take away the fact that the jeans that should be bootcut, now look like capris. Children grow at ridiculous rates, but by all means please....please...save them from the "flood look". He might have some brand new Jordan's but he can't rock them with jeans that hang just below his calve muscle. Stare at the screen real close.
Now.
HE IS GOING TO GET ROASTED, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

His ankles will be exposed LOL.

Protect ya ankles!

---This was fun.

I love kids, but I also remembered the times when my mother did me and my brother DEAD wrong, just wishing someone would have brought these point to the light.

Feel free to add on!

XOXO Chakara

Unbe-WEAVE-able Offensive Fouls

Today's world is one where women of all kinds, have the accessibility to man different hair pieces; long and short, blonde and blue, curly or straight, and etc.

With opportunity comes idiots who take advantage or like my homie always says "jumps completely out of the window" with the current trend. Example: the hair style may call for curly hair, but one may add a few spiral curles, a pink hair track, and some flat twists up the back of their head. Now one may call it orginality, but I call it a technicality.

Where do they do that?

Today I list TERRIBLE offensive fouls by weave wearers. I ask that women RESPECT the weave. Treat it like your own. Tie it up, and do not attempt to run your behind out of YOUR living corridors, looking like birds camp out in your joint.

1. Quick Weave Madness: There is nowhere ON earth, where a woman's head naturally grows in a tiger stripped pattern. So, placing a weave in your head that describes such, shouldnt' get you anywhere but on a doctor's table for a rabie shot. Everytime I see this I ask; What animal (stuffed or alive) had to die to make that happen? One color is okay sweets. After all, you are a grown woman. Head lookin like a kalaidascope. Just because the doo was labeled "quick" didn't mean you could throw anything together.

2. The Cone-head: Lawwwwwd, I remember when there weren't any closers. Anyone who wears weave knows what a closer is. LOL It's the piece of hair, shaped in a circular pattern, mean't to close in hairstyles that require it. (So that the track is not visible). With this being said, WHY are folks still walking around looking like a conehead by the crown of their head?? Everytime I see this I want to BOP a chick on top of the head. Throw some PINS on that ISH! LOL Head looking like a pyramid. LOL

3. Recycled tracks: If you don't return those tracks you borrowed from your homegirl, who wore them for three weeks straight. The only tracks meant to be re-used are those that cost a pretty penny. Those that are of a natural and pure state. Example: Indian Remi (pURE) etc... Why are you still recycling the tracks that sit on the floor of the beauty supply store, in a cardboard box?? Didn't the label tell you specifically: These tracks are cheap ass hell. Do not share. ???? There you go all in MY way at the bar, with a couple tracks at the top of your head that will not lay down. Meanwhile, I'm behind you forced to perform sign language to the bartender, cause neither of us can see each other. Womp womp. Stop recycling tracks, then maybe those suckas will lay down.

4. Not enough tracks, too much head.- Tig Ole Head havin hookas lol. I know you wanted pure Remi hair, and yes, I know it costs about 150 a pack, but if you didnt have enough to buy two packs, then WHY in the **** did you try to stretch out one as if no one could tell the difference. Who puts tracks in their head to APPEAR to be thinning out? I can literally COUNT how many tracks are in females heads that do this. Hang it up. Try again. Next time try; TWO PACK HAIR FOR U. lol

5. Grease Head: You ever seen a female who had tracks in then looked like she oiled them joints down with baby oil?? You can't really miss her, cause she's the chick with the one inch side burns also GEL-ED down the side of her face. LOL! I'm not wearing a weave that has the potential to clog my pores. NAWL. Y'all ever heard of hair serum? You don't have to apply much, plus it wont make you look like an extra of Nelly's "Hot N Here" video. LOL! Gotta love the grease heads.

6. Baldy Mcsmaldies- Hair might be the length of this keyboard key, but she bought hair that goes down to her butt. Hair might not cover the track entirely, but she's cute though. By the end of the night, a couple strands are sticking up like spikes, but she cute though. STOP IT. Please find you a weavIST that knows what styles you can and can't wear, according to your hair length crisis. Maybe its just not time to jump into a 21 inch weave. Maybe you need to start at 4 inches, then WORK your way up. I don't know, but fix it!!

7. WIGS: If you gone wear a weave make sure its turned correctly. I saw a woman the other night with her wig turned completely in the wrong direction. The part was down the back of her head. LOL I was sure by the end of the day, she had turned and jerked that joint so many times, that she had forgotten which way it actually was supposed to sit. Also, make sure that its IN PLACE. Folks can get roudy in the establishments some of y'all like to visit, and I'd hate to see the raise of one's elbow and a bump to your head, be the exposure of a lifetime. Some notty *** cornrows underneath, or a stocking cap. LOL Get it right!!

8. Ponytails: If you can not wear a ponytail of your OWN, without your edges suffering from negligence, then HANG UP THE HOMEMADE PONYTAILS. lol I love seeing this, and laughing to myself cause I could only imagine what the woman said while she fixed it in the mirror. "This is going to have to work" then BAAM! There sits a ponytail, at the crown of her head, and all of her edges singing "WE WON'T GO!" LOL If gel cant hold them joints UP, then let the ponytails go. LOL

9. Roots: DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO NOT. Attempt to insert the hair of another human being on your hair, if your roots have more kinks in it than a swinger's party. LETS TRY A RELAXER FIRST, blow out and chis, or whatever that may apply. Then come again. Its not fair to those tracks to be sittin up high, when they should be laying down peacefully.

and last but not least

10. Braids with NO pattern: Call me biased, but I only deal with a few nationalities when it comes to MY braids. Ya dig? I'on have time to inspect hundreds of braids, to make sure they all sing together in harmony. One of my pet peeves is seeing folks with "so called braids" but the braids look like my six year old did them. I would not EVER sit down for hours to get up with more problems. HOT MESS. End of story.

Aye! Follow me on twitter Author Chakara!

List more!

I know y'all are tired.

LOL

XOXO

Chakara

LADIES: DO YOU KNOW ANY MUTTS?

Time and time again, I hear and witness the same redundant break-up stories, over the same UNIDENTIFIABLE BREEDS, aka MUTTS.

The reason I call them mutts are easy. All men display DOG characteristics...and thats okay. They just need to be trained on whats okay and whats not okay in front of their owners. Ladies can I get an AMEN on that? Cause y'all know when they're with the homies, somethings will fly from their mouths, that you wouldn't easily tolerate. But thats okay.
We understand.
But anywhoo.

Today's blog post is for this crucial contagious epidemic, that has basically trickled down to us females, who've laid down with dogs for so long, that they have become MUTTS too.

All of the dudes she's ever been with have been mutts, so predictably now she's doing ass backwards stuff too. And unfortunately, she looks TEN TIMES worse, because she's a woman.

Today I list the common MUTT behavior, coming from a lifetime of dealing with NO GOOD MEN AKA MUTTS.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #1----------Why are you calling the phones of people you dont know, attempting to question that unknown person about your MUTT?

---Do you realize how dumb you sound when you can't even provide a name after "Can I speak with ______?" You've been going through these mysterious phone call episodes with your man for five years now, and you feel as though the woman who may and may not even be seeing your man owes you some type of explanation? You have'nt gotten any explanations from Leroy in the past five years. STOP PLAYING YOURSELF.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #2-----------Stop grilling every woman who looks better than you, when you are with your MUTT.

First off, any look besides a pleasant one, normally looks a hot mess. Fix your face. If he's going to cheat, he will cheat. Not one growl of yours is going to stop your mutt from wondering off. The least thing you could do, would be to LOOK like something. Erase the "what you talkin bout WILLIS" look in Harris Teeter, damn.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #3-------------Stop running up on your man in social settings, because he's talking to another woman.

You don't know what the hell they are talking about, yet you run up an interupt. I hope the next time you run up, someone has a drink dangling and mid air and you run into it. I hate hate hate! when females do this. I do alot of business in the social atmosphere, and I talk to alot of men. You can always tell his mutt from a distance, because she's staring at you atleast ten minutes before you notice her. PLUS, she can't even enjoy herself, because she's too busy trying to be in seeing distance of her man. C'mon son.


MUTT BEHAVIOR #4------------------Stop threatening to cheat, because you believe that he's cheating on you.

How do you look? Is subjecting yourself to disease and other disgust, by up-ping your sexual partners, REALLY a comeback? LMBO


MUTT BEHAVIOR #5----------------------Stop having babies by the mutt. It's not going to change him.

He's been cheating on you for your entire relationship, but somewhere or another you felt like having a baby might put his cheating at a holt. B*tch please. Now, not only are you hollering at him every night, you got five hollering kids hollering at YOU BOTH. Try a birth control method besides swallowing. Sheesh!


MUTT BEHAVIOR #6----------------------Stop sitting in circles with girls, talking about how much "He aint sh*t".

Obviously, he's something for yall to be talking about him for the past two hours on the phone. You and her both laughing at the things both of your men do, but then let the sun go down, and the same dude who wasn't sh*t before is laying in your bed. SHUT UP.

MUTT BEHAVIOR #7-------------------------Stop riding by every place you think he may be, when he's not answering his phone for you.

First off, you have no badge. You can't be jumping out like the police in the summertime, with no vest. You don't know what you may run up on, and that's real. You ever heard of the phrase, "Don't go looking for trouble". Now, you sitting somewhere looking like a ninja with a weave, waiting on your MUTT to pop up. How you look holmes?

MUTT BEHAVIOR #8----------------------------Stop sleeping with him unprotected if you know that he's cheating.

Black women are at the top of the list of the newly diagnosed of HIV. I wonder why. Stop being so naive. If you had intuition for the past YEAR that he's cheating, HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you continue to lay down with him. Do you not value your life enough to ask his suspect *ss to wrap it up????? C'mon man.



MUTT BEHAVIOR #9-----------------------------Stop expecting a MUTT to raise your son into a MAN.

If you gotta push your kids out the door with him, maybe he's not connecting with them enough. Stop putting these creatures in the postition of being role models to the kids YOU gave birth to. If they're his, and he's not acting accordingly (like a father), stop forcing it on him because you are too stupid to leave him alone. Must the kids endure such nonsense as well??? Damn.



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

MUTT BEHAVIOR #10-------------------------------Stop taking his MONEY and accepting it as a PEACE TREATIE for him f*cking up time after time.

I see females brag all the time about the sorry dude whose sleeping around, and everyone knows it. They like to throw stuff out there all the time like "I'm the baby mama, He paid MY rent, he paid MY light bill, he paid for MY hair to get done."


AND?
So what? A tight sew in doesnt look to good with chlamydia burning in your crotch. You sound STUPID. So stop being so dependent on the MUTT.

Whoops. I forgot you are one now.

Woof Woof Woof.

Buzzards

XoXo
Chakara