NOW
Poor babies LOL
Y'all seen them.
Every now and again, I'll run across a child who is clearly caught up in some mess that their PARENT tried to "make work" in their situation.
Lil dude didn't have his swim trunks, so there he is in the swimming pool with some cut off shorts; one side cut high the other side dangling down by his knees.
Parents should be fiRED.
Today I list multiple situations where I, Chakara, would give a kid permission to fire a parent. lol
1. If you cut your son's HEAD, and instead of tapering the fade, you ROUND that joint out. So, now he has a complete "bowl" on the top of his head. You should be fired. Who cares that clippers were on sale at Walmart? Don't do that to him. Nine times out of ten the "bowl" portion of the cut is too darn small. Now he walking around looking like he has a dartboard at the top of his head. FIRED.
2. If your daughter's hair is short, its okay. I promise you it is, but all those d*mn barrettes and rubberbands will not make an illusion of it being longer. Why is she walking around looking like a X-mas tree by the head? I can not STAND seeing a little girl with ponytails the length of a newborn babies pink toe, with barrettes bigger than the "pig" tail itself, dangling from it. If she fell she could seriously jab her scalp with something. FIRED.
3. Now, everyone knows that as SOON as Jordans or some type of exclusive athletic shoe comes into play, you'll find that Walmart, Target, and other places will try to duplicate the shoe, in their own fashion. Why is it that your son has every pair of "duplicate" Jordans I-X?? LMBO. But you couldn't be simple and buy him a cheaper more NICELY PUT TOGETHER shoe. Nah, you think you gone pysch the whole school out, by putting him in the Michelle Jordan's from Walmart, and no one is going to say anything to dude? Yeah yeah yeah, I know that namebrands do not make a person. I buy my daughter offbrand stuff all the time, but its nothing that trying to imitate another major priced namebrand item. Its just simple, original, no name things. Stop making that boy get roasted in gym class. Its not fair!!!! FIRED.
4. Now this post is not for kids who live in Alaska; Antartica either (if their are any). But, listen here, this is North Carolina. There is no need for your daughter to have on a turtle neck, underneath a wool sweater, a tshirt, tights underneath her courdoroys, two pairs of socks, and a coat. Face VASELINE-D *ding* down. LMBO. Dont forget the toboggin and gloves. Our winters are NOT that serious. Poor child is sweating!!!!! I can't stand to see such. SN: My mother used to handle me like this. Then on top of that, I had cornrows that connected at the ends, so I looked like a Vietnamese Eskimo. Wow. FIRED!
5. Your child isn't skinny, so unfortunately he can't follow the skinny jean trend. Stop purchasing SLIMS for your son, who was once Lil John and now he's Big Red. Its a health risk, when he's at school trying to make it to class, but his skinny jeans have LOCKED right around his thigh area, and he's waddling to his classroom. No really. Then the child's butt is hanging over the top of the jeans. Stop it. Don't make him look stank like that. FIRED.
6. Nowadays if a child places a whole in his jeans, eh, I don't think that a patch is a good idea. LOL Y'all remember when your mom would iron a patch in your jeans? Well I'll be God darnit, I saw a young dude with a patch OVER his jeans. Dats right. His mother didn't even have the decency to but the green jointsINSIDE of his light blue jeans. She smacked them right on top of them. Now he look like he's repping the Go Green campaign by the knees. C'mon SON! Where did you find them patches anyways!!???!!!!!! I thought I wrote the president about them. LOL
7. Now this is for my special bunch. Some folks may have never experienced this sight, but if you are from NC, or anywhere of heavy hispanic decent...looka here. Ballroom gowns and soccer shoes don't go together during ANY POINT IN YOUR LIFE. The sad part is the little latino girls I've seen this on, are absolutely BEAUTIFUL, but they look like they came to the party in preparation to "dougie on the floor". Then the Addidas or whatever the shoe may be, are like "red dirt" filthy. Its like...what gives????? The dress has a vail (lmbo), some lace, glitter and stars, but get down to her feet and she World Cup-in it. LMBO. Come on now. FIRED.
8. Lil Johnny wants cornrows so bad, but his lil hair wont get out of that MATTED (aka notty as heck) phase. So, what DID YOU DO? You go and purchase this lil dude a RELAXER. Y'all have seen lil boys, teens with a relaxed texture in their head. Now, they wonder why their cornrows won't stay. The only folks with permission to wear perms are Al Sharpton, Snoop Dog, and Katt Williams. Anyone outside of those three, should be listed under "what NOT to look like". Your hair is going to break. Listen here. Unless you plan on shampooing and conditioning once a week, and maintaining HIS relaxed hair, don't set him up to look like Rick James. If his hair will not grow, then I dont know.....Cut it off? He's a boy d*mmit!
9. WEAVE that you would buy for your head, exists in the head of your child. Nuff Said. FIRED.
I'm going to cap it off at 10....b/c someone might be in their feelings about some of these lol
But....last and definitely not least.
10. Pulling one's socks UP does not take away the fact that the jeans that should be bootcut, now look like capris. Children grow at ridiculous rates, but by all means please....please...save them from the "flood look". He might have some brand new Jordan's but he can't rock them with jeans that hang just below his calve muscle. Stare at the screen real close.
Now.
HE IS GOING TO GET ROASTED, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
Poor babies LOL
Y'all seen them.
Every now and again, I'll run across a child who is clearly caught up in some mess that their PARENT tried to "make work" in their situation.
Lil dude didn't have his swim trunks, so there he is in the swimming pool with some cut off shorts; one side cut high the other side dangling down by his knees.
Parents should be fiRED.
Today I list multiple situations where I, Chakara, would give a kid permission to fire a parent. lol
1. If you cut your son's HEAD, and instead of tapering the fade, you ROUND that joint out. So, now he has a complete "bowl" on the top of his head. You should be fired. Who cares that clippers were on sale at Walmart? Don't do that to him. Nine times out of ten the "bowl" portion of the cut is too darn small. Now he walking around looking like he has a dartboard at the top of his head. FIRED.
2. If your daughter's hair is short, its okay. I promise you it is, but all those d*mn barrettes and rubberbands will not make an illusion of it being longer. Why is she walking around looking like a X-mas tree by the head? I can not STAND seeing a little girl with ponytails the length of a newborn babies pink toe, with barrettes bigger than the "pig" tail itself, dangling from it. If she fell she could seriously jab her scalp with something. FIRED.
3. Now, everyone knows that as SOON as Jordans or some type of exclusive athletic shoe comes into play, you'll find that Walmart, Target, and other places will try to duplicate the shoe, in their own fashion. Why is it that your son has every pair of "duplicate" Jordans I-X?? LMBO. But you couldn't be simple and buy him a cheaper more NICELY PUT TOGETHER shoe. Nah, you think you gone pysch the whole school out, by putting him in the Michelle Jordan's from Walmart, and no one is going to say anything to dude? Yeah yeah yeah, I know that namebrands do not make a person. I buy my daughter offbrand stuff all the time, but its nothing that trying to imitate another major priced namebrand item. Its just simple, original, no name things. Stop making that boy get roasted in gym class. Its not fair!!!! FIRED.
4. Now this post is not for kids who live in Alaska; Antartica either (if their are any). But, listen here, this is North Carolina. There is no need for your daughter to have on a turtle neck, underneath a wool sweater, a tshirt, tights underneath her courdoroys, two pairs of socks, and a coat. Face VASELINE-D *ding* down. LMBO. Dont forget the toboggin and gloves. Our winters are NOT that serious. Poor child is sweating!!!!! I can't stand to see such. SN: My mother used to handle me like this. Then on top of that, I had cornrows that connected at the ends, so I looked like a Vietnamese Eskimo. Wow. FIRED!
5. Your child isn't skinny, so unfortunately he can't follow the skinny jean trend. Stop purchasing SLIMS for your son, who was once Lil John and now he's Big Red. Its a health risk, when he's at school trying to make it to class, but his skinny jeans have LOCKED right around his thigh area, and he's waddling to his classroom. No really. Then the child's butt is hanging over the top of the jeans. Stop it. Don't make him look stank like that. FIRED.
6. Nowadays if a child places a whole in his jeans, eh, I don't think that a patch is a good idea. LOL Y'all remember when your mom would iron a patch in your jeans? Well I'll be God darnit, I saw a young dude with a patch OVER his jeans. Dats right. His mother didn't even have the decency to but the green jointsINSIDE of his light blue jeans. She smacked them right on top of them. Now he look like he's repping the Go Green campaign by the knees. C'mon SON! Where did you find them patches anyways!!???!!!!!! I thought I wrote the president about them. LOL
7. Now this is for my special bunch. Some folks may have never experienced this sight, but if you are from NC, or anywhere of heavy hispanic decent...looka here. Ballroom gowns and soccer shoes don't go together during ANY POINT IN YOUR LIFE. The sad part is the little latino girls I've seen this on, are absolutely BEAUTIFUL, but they look like they came to the party in preparation to "dougie on the floor". Then the Addidas or whatever the shoe may be, are like "red dirt" filthy. Its like...what gives????? The dress has a vail (lmbo), some lace, glitter and stars, but get down to her feet and she World Cup-in it. LMBO. Come on now. FIRED.
8. Lil Johnny wants cornrows so bad, but his lil hair wont get out of that MATTED (aka notty as heck) phase. So, what DID YOU DO? You go and purchase this lil dude a RELAXER. Y'all have seen lil boys, teens with a relaxed texture in their head. Now, they wonder why their cornrows won't stay. The only folks with permission to wear perms are Al Sharpton, Snoop Dog, and Katt Williams. Anyone outside of those three, should be listed under "what NOT to look like". Your hair is going to break. Listen here. Unless you plan on shampooing and conditioning once a week, and maintaining HIS relaxed hair, don't set him up to look like Rick James. If his hair will not grow, then I dont know.....Cut it off? He's a boy d*mmit!
9. WEAVE that you would buy for your head, exists in the head of your child. Nuff Said. FIRED.
I'm going to cap it off at 10....b/c someone might be in their feelings about some of these lol
But....last and definitely not least.
10. Pulling one's socks UP does not take away the fact that the jeans that should be bootcut, now look like capris. Children grow at ridiculous rates, but by all means please....please...save them from the "flood look". He might have some brand new Jordan's but he can't rock them with jeans that hang just below his calve muscle. Stare at the screen real close.
Now.
HE IS GOING TO GET ROASTED, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
His ankles will be exposed LOL.
Protect ya ankles!
---This was fun.
I love kids, but I also remembered the times when my mother did me and my brother DEAD wrong, just wishing someone would have brought these point to the light.
Feel free to add on!
XOXO Chakara
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